I Wasn’t Supposed to Notice You

You were never part of the plan, 

Especially not here of all places, 

Not between tasks and passing hours, 

Not while I was busy becoming more, 

Busy becoming someone whole on my own. 

I was focused on my work, 

Focused on my discipline, 

Focused on keeping my world small and contained, 

Devoted only to God and myself, 

Or so I told myself, 

But then you appeared. 

Glasses catching the light like a pause in time, 

Brown eyes behind the frame, 

So steady and warm, 

Curly hair framing your face, 

As if it had a mind of its own, 

You were just soft chaos impossible to ignore,  

And a thought I wasn’t meant to finish. 

Now you arrive unannounced, 

Sliding through my phone like a whisper, 

And I tell myself not to linger, 

Not to desire you more, 

Like a precious gem admired only through glass, 

But I hesitate every time our paths cross, 

Caught between restraint and want. 

You feel real in a way you shouldn’t. 

You’re not loud or demanding, 

But you’re just present, 

You’re effortless, 

And hard to resist. 

I want to admire you quietly,

From a distance I swear I’ll keep. 

I don’t want more, 

That’s the truth I repeat like a prayer. 

I only want the spell to loosen, 

For your name to stop echoing, 

In the back of my mind. 

But you’re a drug I would never touch, 

Yet I wonder about your taste, 

Whether it’s love on the tongue, 

Or a beautiful nightmare in disguise. 

I rewind and rewind, 

Lingering too long on moments, 

That were never meant for me. 

I’m praying this doesn’t deepen. 

I’m praying that I can forget you, 

But I worry that it’s too late, 

Because I’ve already noticed you, 

And now every version of forgetting,

Feels like a lie. 

I carry your shadow in the corners of my mind, 

A fleeting echo I can’t leave behind.