The White Mask: Part Two

Melanie is just so gorgeous to Dylan. Despite being in her uniform, Melanie is just irresistible to Dylan. He can’t help but look at her cherry, red lips and her long, brown hair just draped on her shoulders. She has the prettiest smile to Dylan, and it always seems to melt his heart. Her light brown eyes are intoxicating and hypnotizing to his soul. Melanie is short and skinny, and it’s perfect for Dylan. Melanie is Dylan’s perfect angel that he will gladly worship and adore on his date with her.

Dylan rushes to the other side of his car to open up the passenger door for Melanie. She’s surprised by the this and remarks, “Wow, such a gentleman, thank you.”

“Don’t mention it, my lady,” Dylan cheerfully says.

Melanie steps inside the car, and Dylan runs to the driver side of his car. He gets in and presents the roses to Melanie from behind his back. “These are for you, my lady,” Dylan says.

“Oh, these are lovely…um thank you,” Melanie responds.

The hesitation bothers Dylan, and Melanie quickly adds, “They’re absolutely lovely, don’t get me wrong. It’s just that I know that my husband will get a little mad and jealous if he sees these flowers, so I’m probably just gonna have to keep them in my car and let them die.”

Dylan is devastated that Melanie can’t take care of the roses or fully accept them. Melanie sees the disappointed look and says, “But I do appreciate the sweet gesture, bro. These are beautiful. You’re such a good friend.”

Dylan perks up a little bit because Melanie appreciated the sweet gesture of the roses. He knew he didn’t mess up with getting Melanie roses. So, Dylan smiles and says, “It was my pleasure, my lady. Now let’s go get something to eat.”

He has his energy again, and he’s ready to kick off his date with Melanie. He starts the car and drives them both to Chick-Fil-A.

As they’re driving, Dylan asks Melanie how things are with her husband. Melanie replies, “Still a disaster. I still hate him and can’t stand him. I just want to divorce him, but I can’t. I hate Dan.”

Dylan knew this all too well. He knows that Melanie’s husband, Dan, is physically abusive towards. In fact, everyone at Sam’s Club knew this because she would always talk about it with coworkers. He’s 6’4”, overweight and 20 years older than Melanie. He would slap her, push her, kick her and punch her almost daily. Melanie always has to wear makeup to cover up the fresh bruises and cuts her husband would give her. It hurt Dylan to see his precious angel take such an abuse from a monster. She was young and naïve to get with him in the first place at the age of 20, Dylan thinks to himself. She needs to be saved from him.

It only takes a few minutes to get to Chick-Fil A because they’re so close to it. When they park, Melanie tries to open up the door, but Dylan stops her. He insists on opening the door for her. He gets out of his car, rushes to the passenger side and opens the door for her. They walk together and make it to the entrance. Melanie reaches to open the entrance door, but Dylan stops her because he wants to open the door for her. He does so and there’s another door presented. Melanie reaches to open that door, and Dylan yells for her to stop. Melanie sighs and waits for Dylan to open the door for him. Then, they finally make it inside the restaurant.

They wait in line until it’s eventually their turn. Dylan orders his food and asks Melanie what she wants. She insists on paying for herself, but Dylan is insisting on paying for her. Melanie sighs and says that she’ll just have a large fry. Dylan orders the food, and they find a booth to sit in.

Dylan and Melanie start laughing and talking, and Dylan feels such a strong connection with Melanie. It was real and special to him. Eventually, their food comes, and they start to enjoy it. As they’re eating, Melanie starts talking about her three-year-old daughter Violet. Melanie loves Violet with all her heart and can’t imagine life without her daughter, she explains to Dylan. “Yeah, I just can’t afford to leave Dan. Also, I don’t want Violet to grow up without a father. I want to give her the best life possible. He’s a decent father to her, and I guess that can be good enough for me.”

Dylan shakes his head and says, “I understand that, but is it good for your daughter to see you getting hurt all the time? What example are you setting for your daughter?”

Melanie gets a little uncomfortable and replies, “I don’t have that many options seeing as how I barely have enough money to divorce him. I’m just pretty much stuck with him. It sucks, but it’s just the way it is. I wish there was a way for Dan to be out of my life and somehow have a good life for Violet. But there isn’t a way. Now, we can just please change the subject, I’m tired of talking about my abusive husband.”

Dylan understands and changes the subject. They talk for 40 more minutes, and Melanie realizes that it’s time for them to go back to work. They start gathering their stuff, and they throw their trash away. Dylan tries to open the doors for Melanie, but she opens them on their own. She says, “It’s fine, bro, I got it.”

When they’re outside, Dylan runs past Melanie and opens the door to the passenger side. Melanie sighs and gets in the car. Dylan closes her door, runs to the driver side, gets in and drives back to Sam’s Club. They make it back to work with five minutes to spare. They’re sitting in the car, and Melanie tries to get out. Dylan stops her, and Melanie says, “It’s okay, Dylan, I got it. I’m fully capable up opening my door.”

“Oh okay. Well, I just wanted to let you know that I had a really great time with you, and I definitely would love to do this again,” Dylan says to Melanie.

“Oh yeah, for sure,” Melanie responds.

There’s an awkward silence, and Dylan awkwardly asks, “Hey, um I was…um… wondering if maybe….um… I could have your…um…phone number, possibly?”

Dylan has been meaning to get her number all day, and he was just ready to take the next step with her. Melanie smiles and says, “Yeah sure, bro. Let me just put it in my phone.”

She types his number in her phone and sends him a text message. Before he could say anything, Melanie rushes out the car and yells, “Hurry up, we’re gonna be late clocking in.”

There’s a big smile on Dylan’s face because he had finally gotten Melanie’s number. It’s a dream come true for him. He starts getting out of his car and humming “Singin’ in the Rain.” The date was a success for Dylan, and he couldn’t wait to swoop Melanie off her feet and be her knight in shining armor.

The rest of the day for Dylan goes by fast. He does good work, and he finds himself thinking about his sweet Melanie. Around 8:00, he texts her that he can’t stop thinking about her and is looking forward to seeing her again. There’s no response from her. At 10:00, he texts her, “So, when do you want to have lunch again, Mel? I think the days that we’re working together are on Tuesday and Thursday of next week, so let me know what works for you.”

Again, there’s no response. It bothers Dylan a little that she’s not responding, but he quickly assumes that she’s just busy working. Around 11:00, it’s quitting time for second shift. Dylan rushes to clock out and runs to his car. When he gets in his car, he texts Melanie if she’s alright. He knows that Melanie finished working at 8:30, so it made no sense to him that she wasn’t responding to his text messages.

He drives home worried sick about Melanie. When he makes it home, he thinks about calling her. He opens the door to his house and hears a male, deep voice in his dark house say, “Hello, Dylan.”

This startles Dylan, and he looks around his house to find the person saying hello to him. He can’t see anything, then he hears the sound of his lamp turn on. He looks to the far, left corner of his house and sees a man in a red suit with red sunglasses on. Dylan can’t see his face and his heart is pumping like crazy. Who is this man? Why is he in his house? How did he know his name. So many questions were running in his mind. Then, the man in the red suit smiles and whispers, “Hello, Dylan. Allow me to introduce myself. I’m Cupid, and I’m here to help you.”

This is the end of “The White Mask: Part Two.”

Be sure to like, share and comment your thoughts on this short story.

Next week, I will be posting and sharing parts three and four of “The White Mask.”

 

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The White Mask: Part One

Dylan is patiently waiting in line at a floral shop. He has five stemmed roses in his hand for a special girl on his mind. They’re having lunch together for the first time on this Saturday, and Dylan is anxious, nervous and excited about it all. There are only three people in front of him, and he is in no rush at all. He’s in his uniform because he has work in about an hour at 2:00. He’s working a full eight-hour shift at Sam’s Club as a stocker. The floral shop is only a few minutes away from it. He’s excited because there seems to be a pretty, attractive girl at the register. She’s a brunette with blue eyes and a pretty smile. Dylan tries to look at her nametag, but he can’t see the name on it. He needs to get a closer look. Eventually, it’s his turn in line. The girl smiles at him with her perfect white teeth and motions for him to come to the register. He approaches the register, and he can finally see that the girl’s name is Emily. She says, “Good afternoon, sir, how are you doing?”

Dylan smiles and responds, “I’m doing alright. I’m just little anxious, nervous and excited, so a pretty good combination.”

Emily laughs and asks why Dylan feels the way he feels. Dylan explains, “Well, I’m taking this pretty, amazing girl out on a date for the first time today, and I’m so scared. I just want it to be perfect and for us to take things to the next level and all.”

Emily nods her head in understanding Dylan, and she says to him that all he has to do is be himself and everything will fall in to place naturally. “Plus, you’re on the right track too with the roses. I know that she’ll definitely love them. I wish guys at my high school would give me roses, but they just want to ‘shoot their shots on IG or snap,’ and it’s just so lame. You know what I mean?”

Dylan shakes his head and explains that he doesn’t have social media. He’s really old fashioned. It came to a shock to Emily, and she asks him how old he is. Dylan responds that he’s 30 years old. Emily is impressed that he doesn’t have social media, then Dylan smiles and asks, “So what does shooting the shot mean? Is it like a bucket or something?”

Emily laughs and says, “Oh my gosh, you seriously don’t know? I mean, it’s something like that. Hold up, let me get my phone out and show you what I mean.”

Emily gets out her nice iPhone and shows Dylan some messages of guys “shooting their shot” with her. He got close to her and saw all kinds of weird messages and pictures on her phones. Dylan shakes his head and says, “Ok so let me get this right. Guys send you messages about how ‘bad,’ ‘delicious,’ ‘exquisite,’ and ‘fine’ you are, and if their compliment is good enough to you, then you proceed to talk to them?”

“Yeah pretty much, romance and chivalry are dead,” Emily says.

“Whoa, whoa, don’t say such things. Yes, there are guys that are no longer chivalrous or romantic, but there are a few of us that are hopeless romantics in this world. Don’t worry, your knight in shining armor is coming to save you.”

Emily appreciated the words, and Dylan paid $18.50 for his five roses. He thanked Emily, looked at his roses and handed her one of the roses. Emily smiles at the sweet gesture and thanks him for the rose. Dylan smiles and says, “It’s no problem young lady, you’re absolutely gorgeous and deserve all the roses in the world for your sweetness.”

Emily blushes, and Dylan for a second thinks about asking for her number. However, he changes his mind because he already has a special girl waiting for him.

Dylan heads to work with his four roses, and he makes it to Sam’s Club with 30 minutes to spare. He walks in and says hi to a few people along the way. Then, he finally makes it to the back room and sees a few people eating their lunches in the break room. He looks to his right, and he sees the only black person in the break room, his coworker and friend Elijah. Elijah is listening to music on his phone and scrolling on Facebook. Dylan sees Elijah and yells, “Yo, what up my brother?”

Elijah hears Dylan, pulls out his headphones and looks at Dylan. He shakes his head, chuckles and says, “Hey what’s up man.”

“Nothing much, just happy and excited to be here. Happy to be alive, what are you listening to ?” Dylan asks.

“That’s what’s up, man. And I’m just listening to J. Cole’s ‘No Role Models.’ Such a good song, man,” Elijah responds.

Elijah starts singing a little bit to Dylan, but there’s a little part that’s weird to Dylan. It’s part of the chorus, it’s “Don’t save her, she don’t wanna be saved.” Dylan didn’t understand that part. Then, Elijah asks, “By the way, what do you got in your hands? Do you have a secret admirer or something?”

Dylan didn’t understand, but then he realizes that he has the four roses in his hand. He forgot to put them in his locker. He quickly ran to his locker making sure he was hiding the flowers. He didn’t want them to be seen. Then, he opens his locker and places the roses in his locker. Then, he rushes back to the break room to Elijah. He’s out of breathe, and Elijah asks him if he’s alright. Dylan tells him that he’s fine and begs Elijah to not tell anyone about the roses. Elijah promises to keep the roses a secret, then he asks Dylan about the roses. However, Dylan doesn’t want to say. He doesn’t want Elijah to know who he’s taking out on a date. Elijah asks him how come he doesn’t want to tell him, but Dylan tells Elijah that he’s just not comfortable in sharing information about the roses. Dylan expects Elijah to persist with the questions, but Elijah decides to drop it. This is a relief to Dylan, but then Elijah adds, “I don’t understand why flowers are so romantic to girls sometimes.”

Dylan frowns and asks Elijah what he mean. Elijah continues, “I mean, flowers are the most inconvenient romantic gift ever to me. Like those roses you got probably cost $20 maybe $30 dollars top. Roses are just so expensive for no reason. Then, a girl now has to buy a vase for the roses because if she doesn’t then they’ll die. So, it’s not really a romantic gift if each party has to pay some money for said gift.”

Dylan just shakes his head and says, “No bro, like you don’t understand. You see a rose is like a delicate, sweet poem. It speaks a different language to a woman. It makes her feel loved and appreciated, Elijah.”

“You know what else makes a woman feel appreciated? Food, time, candy, chocolates, poetry, a love letter, hot Cheetos and so many other things, like where’s the creativity and ingenuity at these days? Flowers are just gonna die, and it’s such a waste of money. There are plenty of other things to give a girl than flowers, I swear,” Elijah exclaims.

“So, I’m guessing you’re never gonna buy a girl flowers then,” Dylan asks.

Elijah laughs and responds, “I’ll probably reluctantly buy flowers for my soulmate or something if they mean so much to her. It’ll probably be if we’re dating for years or something, never the first few dates at all.”

Dylan is confused as to why Elijah wouldn’t buy flowers for a girl on a first date. They both look at the clock and realize they have five minutes left till work. So, Dylan asks Elijah why he wouldn’t give a girl flowers on a first date. Elijah responds, “Well, excluding the cost and inconvenience of them, they bring off the wrong impression. They show that you’re desperate to impress someone with a gift and not by your personality. Also, you’re dependent on a material thing making you look good to a woman. And it sends off the wrong message to a girl in a way.”

“What message is that?” Dylan asks.

“In my opinion, roses are only given because of what you look like on the outside. You see, roses are pretty to look at, and you’re basically telling a girl that she’s pretty to look at with roses. I’m just speaking about a first date, by the way. It’s not the case if you’ve been with someone for years.”

Dylan just shakes his head and tells Elijah that it’s not true at all. Dylan explains that flowers are so romantic to girl, and Elijah just wouldn’t understand because he’s never experienced love. Elijah laughs and says, “That’s true, I’ve never been in love. Maybe you know more than me, and I’m tripping. Also, if those flowers are for a date, I would just do a single rose, but that’s just my advice.”

Dylan shakes his head and reluctantly thanks Elijah for the advice. They talk for a few minutes later, then 2:00 hits. They clock in, and it’s officially time to work.

Dylan and Elijah are working together stocking in their area. They do good work, and it’s eventually 6:00. It’s time for their hour-long break.

Dylan rushes to the backroom, clocks out and rushes to his locker. He grabs the roses and puts them behind his back. He’s about to leave the backroom, when he’s stopped by Elijah. Elijah asks him if they’re having lunch together, but Dylan explains that he has plans with someone. Elijah doesn’t ask any other questions and lets Dylan go. Dylan rushes out of Sam’s Club, goes to his car and waits patiently for his “date.” He’s holding the roses behind his back. A few minutes pass, and he finally sees the woman that’s on his mind. She’s walking to him with her Sam’s Club uniform on as well, and Dylan can’t help but show off a big smile. The woman eventually reaches the car and says, “Hey Dylan what’s up?”

“Hey Melanie, are you ready to go?” Dylan asks.

“Yeah, let’s do it.”

This is the end of “The White Mask: Part One.”

Be sure to like, share and comment your thoughts on this short story.

On Thursday, I will be sharing and posting part two of “The White Mask.”

Another Petty-ish Moment

Last year, I was working a typical, Saturday morning at Sheetz from 6:00 am-2:00 pm. As usual, I was stationed at the front to work the register. Five minutes into my shift, I’m approached by my co-worker Sasha. She asked me if she could talk to me about something important. We’re not really busy early in the morning, so I didn’t have to worry about any customers. I asked her what was up, and she said, “So I have this friend that I was with on Sunday, and she saw a picture of you on Facebook and thought you were cute.”

I giggled, and I asked her how her friend saw a picture of me. Sasha explained that she was just scrolling through Facebook, and her friend Sarah stopped her scrolling when she saw a picture of me. Sasha continued, “Yeah, you were wearing this really nice suit, and you were with your sister and cousin I believe.”

At first, I didn’t know what picture she was talking about, but she showed it to me on her phone. Once I realized the picture, I said, “Oh that picture. Yeah, I was at wedding last week. It was my cousin Dajah’s wedding. I got to be an usher, and I was taking a couple of pictures with my cousin Camilla and my brother Isaac. It was such a beautiful ceremony, and I’m just so happy for my little cousin.”

Before I continue the story, I need to address and help my Facebook stalkers out. So, if you go on my page, which you always do, go on my see all photos tab and click on uploads. Once you click on uploads, click on the first picture of my uploads picture, which should be my profile pic. After that, you just keep swiping left till you reach 50 of 95 and 51 of 95. Or you can just swipe down till you see me in a nice suit with my cousin and brother. Anyways, those are the two pictures that me and Sasha are referring to right now in this story. I just wanted to help y’all out and make y’all’s life a little bit easier. I kind of appreciate you all, hope y’all like them and happy stalking. Now back to the story.

“Aww that’s nice that your young cousin got married and all,” Sasha said.

I replied, “Oh no, she’s older than me. I just call her my little cousin because she’s shorter than me.”

We both laughed, then Sasha talked about her friend was so cute and asked if I was interested in her friend. I asked if she would show me a picture of her, but she refused. She said, “Wow, Isaiah, you can’t trust me when I say that my friend is cute and pretty. I’m hurt.”

I looked at her and said, “Sasha, your friend saw me on Facebook and thought that I was cute. Don’t I deserve the same courtesy? I should see a picture of her and determine if I’m interested in her or not. I mean, I need a little something to work with since she got enough to determine that I was a whole snack for her.”

We both started laughing, and she understood where I was coming from. So, she went on her phone and tried to find a “good” picture of her on her phone. After five minutes, she eventually found a “good” picture of her in her phone and showed it to me. When I first saw the picture, I thought that she was pretty. So, I said, “Alright, she cute. I’m not gonna promise anything, but I’m down to get to know her a little bit and see what’s up. You can just give me her number or something.”

Sasha was happy to hear this and explained that she could give her friend my number. I told her that was fine, and she went back to the kitchen all excited that I would be potentially “talking” to her friend.

After all that, I went back to register. It was around 7:00 am, and it was still a quiet day at Sheetz so far. Then, this old, white man came into the store. He looked like he was in a rush to find some things. He ended up getting a coffee, and a few snacks. After he got all his things, he headed my way to check his things out. He was in a rush, but once he saw me, he started to slow down. Then, he stopped halfway towards me. There was someone behind him, and he politely let that person in front of him. I thought it was really weird because he was in rush, now all of sudden, he was no longer in a rush. It didn’t make sense. After I was done with the customer, I said to the old, white man, “I can take you right here, sir.”

He looked at me with disgust and said, “Bring someone else up to ring me, would you? I don’t want you.”

I was so confused and perplexed as to why he didn’t want me to ring him up. Then, I looked at myself and realized the reason. I sighed and decided to try to call someone up to ring because I wasn’t trying to deal with him. However, I quickly noticed that my headset was off. Before I could turn it on, the old, white man said, “Hurry up, nig….boy.”

I stopped myself from turning on my headset and wondered to myself, “Was this old man really about to call me the n-word?”

Also, it didn’t help that he called me a “boy” either. So, I looked at him and asked him again what he said. He saw how serious I was and said, “Just hurry up, I’m in a rush.”

I responded, “Oh ok.”

Now, I was looking down on my headset and an idea popped in my head. I was thinking to myself that maybe I ask for someone to ring up this old white man, but I don’t turn on my headset. Then, I asked myself, “Do I really want to be that petty and ruin this old man’s day?”

The answer was yes. At this moment, I was gonna be petty-ish with this old man. Why? Because he ruined my day, and I was just gonna return the favor. There was a part of me that wanted to turn the other cheek, but I just couldn’t at this moment. So, I said in my off headset, “Is someone able to ring this person up?”

I knew that no one heard me, but the old man was satisfied. Then, he said, “Yeah, I don’t want you touching my things. I prefer someone else.”

Now, I deal with a lot of racists at Sheetz, but this one right here was the most ridiculous one to me. I didn’t say anything to him after his statement, and I just stocked cigarettes while he was the only person in line.

A few minutes passed, and he was frustrated and growing impatient. I was just standing at the register watching him. He was looking at his watch, and he asked me, “Hey, is someone gonna come up and ring me or not, boy?”

Again, he called me “boy” and it just made me chuckle a little bit because I could feel the anger in his voice. I smiled, looked at him and said, “Oh, I don’t know what’s going on. They might’ve just forgotten about you, but I’ll ask again.”

So, I asked again on my off headset if someone would ring up the old man.

Ten minutes passed, and this old, white man was still waiting for someone other than me to ring him. He was determined to have his stuff rung up by a white person, and it was honestly pathetic and shameful to me.

All of a sudden, he yelled, “This is ridiculous! I have been waiting here for service for 15 minutes and no one is trying to ring me up! Where’s your manager, boy?”

I just looked at him and shrugged my shoulders. I decided not to say anything anymore because I just wanted him gone at that point, and it was nice to see that he had reached his breaking point. Then, he said, “Are you gonna answer me, boy?”

I smiled, chuckled and shrugged my shoulders again. He was really angry that I wasn’t answering his questions, and he ended up just going to the kitchen. He demanded that someone ring him up. My co-worker Mark was coming up to the register, but then he saw me. Then, he said, “Oh, Isaiah can ring you up, sir. He can take—

The old man interrupted, “I don’t want that…that….just ring me up, will ya?”

Mark ended up ringing up all his stuff. When he was close to being done, I looked down at my headset and said, “Oh my headset isn’t on. That’s why you guys couldn’t hear me.”

I started laughing, but the old man was fuming. After Mark was done bagging his things, the old man snatched his bag. He looked at me and said, “I’m never coming back here as long as you’re here.”

Before I could say anything, he stormed out of Sheetz. I laughed at him, and Mark asked me how come he didn’t want me to ring him up. I said, “I don’t know, man. I don’t know.”

Sadly, I guess some things are hard to let go of in this world.

This is the end of the short story “Another Petty-ish Moment.”

Be sure to like, share and comment your thoughts on this short story.

Next week, I will be posting and sharing parts one and two of the six-part horror story “The White Mask.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

Shawna-Mama

For years, you have been such a blessing to me.

I’m so thankful and blessed to have you in my heart for so long.

I’ll always love your random hugs and kisses you give me.

They’re just right, and they’re the most natural.

They just mean so much to me.

They uplift me, and they let me know that I am good enough for you.

 

Sometimes it’s easy to talk to you, while other times are a struggle.

It just depends on the topic.

We argue and fight like crazy, but we also laugh and talk like crazy.

There are days that I don’t understand you, but there are days that we are in sync.

We have our good and bad days, but I know we have better days ahead of us.

We can be inconsistent, but our love for each other will always be consistent.

 

I want to protect you from this world.

I don’t want it to burn out the bright light you have in your heart.

I pray that you’re strong enough to fight this world.

I pray that you find happiness.

I pray that you discover success in the most unimaginable places.

I pray that you accomplish all your goals in life.

I pray that we will always be close.

 

You’re gonna be so amazing in this world.

There’s no reason for me to worry about you at all.

It’s been such an honor being your big brother.

You taught me so much as a big brother, and I don’t know how to repay you.

I can probably repay you with some Flamin’ Hot Fries.

There’s so much time that we have together, and I’m excited for our journey together.

You’re my sister that I’ll always hold onto.

I love you so much, Shawna-Mama.

 

This is the end of the poem “Shawna-Mama.”

Be sure to like, share and comment your thoughts on this poem dedicated to my little sister Shawna. I love you so much Shawna-mama and hope you have a great birthday Oct. 1. It’s been such an amazing experience being your big brother, and I can’t wait to see where life takes as you’re getting older.

This week, I will be posting and sharing two short stories. On Tuesday, I will be sharing and posting the short story “Another Petty-ish Moment.” On Thursday, I will be sharing and posting the short story “Preferences: Part Two.”

Next week, I will finally be posting and sharing the six-part horror story “The White Mask” in the Dark Colors series.

 

 

 

Lost and Forgotten

I wish that I could be better.

I pray every day to be better.

I wonder what’s taking God so long.

Why doesn’t He want to help me right now?

Why does He have to be so quiet, while everything around me is so loud and clear?

 

I guess it takes patience and time with God.

Also, what am I expecting Him to do?

To just magically make my troubles go away?

I don’t think it works like that.

I wish more than anything that it did though.

It would be so much easier for me.

 

God, I’m sorry that I’m struggling right now.

God, I’m sorry that I can’t lift the weight off my shoulders.

God, I’m sorry that I can only do so much.

God, I’m sorry that my spirit is weak.

God, I’m sorry for who I am right now.

 

How could be going through this right now?

Now’s not a good time.

I’m broken, and I’m in desperate need of healing.

 

I can’t let people help me, especially those close to me.

They can’t see this side of me.

It’s shameful and disgusting.

I’m supposed to be this perfect image for them.

I have to be, otherwise who am I?

I’ll just hide the pain, the struggling and the hurt I’m feeling.

I’ll just pretend I’m fine because it’s the best thing to do for everyone.

I have to think about others, before I think about myself.

 

I want to be better, but I don’t think it’s possible.

I think I got a long, grueling road ahead of me.

Can I make it to the end of it?

I don’t know.

I hope I can, but I don’t think that’s enough.

Will God help me a little more?

I don’t know.

It just feels like I’m lost and forgotten.

 

This is the end of the poem “Lost and Forgotten.”

Be sure to like, share and comment your thoughts on this poem.

This weekend, I will be sharing and posting poetry dedicated to my little sister Shawna in honor of her birthday October 1.

 

 

 

 

Please, Help Me Believe

It’s getting harder and harder to hold on to you.

I’m sorry that I’m complaining.

I’m sorry that I’m not strong enough to still hold on to you.

The weight is too much for me.

I know I have to find a way, but I can’t.

Help me, please.

 

You’re precious to me, but you require so much from me.

I have to believe in you, even when there’s no reason to.

I have to believe in you when others tell me not to.

I have to believe in you like I believe in God.

Please, help me believe in you.

 

Please, let me breathe.

I know you’re meant to help me breathe, but I’m suffocating with you in my life.

I swear if the world wasn’t always hurting me, you wouldn’t mean anything to me.

I hate that I need you so much.

 

You’re such a dangerous thing.

You make me go mad.

It’s a shame that I can’t rely on reason and logic.

You’re the only way to salvation

 

I remember someone once said you’re a good thing.

Maybe even the best thing.

But it’s just so hard to see that now.

I don’t know who you are anymore, and I can’t see the good in you.

Please, help me.

 

I long to see your beauty again.

I want to embrace you and hold you tight.

But, I’m barely holding on to you right now.

I’m so close to falling to my death.

My grip to you is slowly slipping.

I’m trying to hold on to you for dear life.

I’m trying to find the strength to pull myself up to you, but I’m stuck in the same place.

There’s just no way out of it.

 

Please, just show me the way.

Please, just give me a reason to trust in you.

Why are you just holding my hand?

Please, pull me up before I descend into madness.

Why can’t you do that?

Why do I have to do all the work?

 

I guess it really is all on me.

I mean, you are helping me stay alive.

Maybe you’re trying to help me up, but you just can’t.

Maybe the gravity or weight of the world is strong like you.

Maybe they’re not as strong as you, but strong enough to keep me in the same place.

 

I guess it doesn’t help that I’m doing nothing but hanging in there.

I guess I can’t blame you because you’re keeping me alive.

I thank you for that.

I do need you in my life, and you’re true to me and many others in the world.

Please, help me believe in you.

 

 

The Girl With the Pills

It was my freshman year of college at Indiana University of Pennsylvania, and I was just chilling in my dorm. I remember it was a Monday night, and my roommate Craig was having very, very loud sex with some girl in his room. Now, I knew his schedule. He would always have sex with someone on Mondays, Wednesdays and every now then Saturdays. Usually, it would be late like midnight or 1:00 am, however today was different because he was having sex at 8:00 pm, while I was trying to do some homework. At first, I was a little mad that he was having sex, but then I thought that it was better to be early and all so that I can get some sleep. Eventually, the noises died down at 8:30ish, and Craig ended up knocking on my door. I yelled that it was opened, and he opened the door. Then, he said, “Hey bruh, sorry if me and my girl were loud, we got a little carried away.”

I looked at him and said, “A little? I was hearing all kinds of jungle noises. Everybody probably heard you two going at it like animals.”

We both chuckled and I said, “Alright, are y’all done for the night, then? I’m surprised that you got it in early and all.”

He gave me a face and said, “Well, we’re probably gonna take a shower and then chill some more.”

“How much more, man?” I asked.

He replied, “I don’t know, bruh. Like Zay this girl is bad, man. She badder than the last girl that I was with two days ago. Like she did her thang, and I need more, bruh.”

I looked at him and said, “Bro, it’s a school night. There’s people trying to sleep and study right now, including me, and you’re trying to have some more loud sex with her?”

Craig replied, “Bruh, she bad, you don’t understand, Zay. She’s on point and everything man. And look, I promise that we’re gonna be quiet, bruh. Trust me.”

I stood up and said, “Craig, I can’t trust you. You’re lying to me right now. I know you’re gonna give her that same energy you just gave her. You just hyped her up and everything man. You two are probably gonna be louder than ever with your horny self. You ain’t got to lie, Craig.”

Now, I’ll admit that I didn’t say “You ain’t got to lie, Craig” to Craig on that day, but I said everything else. Now back to the story.

We both laughed, and he said, “For real, Zay, we gonna be quiet.”

I sighed and said, “Alright and if someone comes knocking on our door talking about the noises you making again, you talking to them.”

He chuckled and said, “Alright, bet. Oh and don’t forget you gotta tell me what you want to do on your birthday with the choices I presented to you.”

I groaned and said, “I ain’t doing none of those things.”

He laughed and said, “Oh, we’ll see.”

The choices he’s referring to is another story.

Anyways, he leaves my room and closes my door. A few seconds later, I hear him and his girl of the night giggling across the room and entering our bathroom to take a shower. The shower starts and already noise begin. I quickly put on my headphones and try to ignore them. A few minutes later, I received a text message from this girl on my floor. Her name was Jessica, and she was in my sociology class. I open it, and she was asking me what I was doing. I told her that I was just chilling in my room and all, and then she asked me if I wanted to study with her. I really didn’t need to study sociology, but I kind of wanted to get out of my room. So, I texted, “Yeah sure, we can meet up at the library or something.”

She replied, “Well, how about we study at my room instead? It’s more convenient since we live on the same floor, and I’m already all comfortable, and I don’t feel like getting dressed lol.”

I laughed and texted, “Alright cool, I’ll be over in a couple minutes.”

Then, she responded, “Can’t wait to see you.”

I’ll admit I was really excited. Jessica was pretty and attractive, and she was three or four years older than me. I was 18, and I was thinking to myself, “Man, I can’t believe I’m about to study with this pretty girl.”

So, I got my books together and put them in my bookbag. I was still ignoring the noises Craig and his girl of the night was making in the shower and I headed to Jessica’s room. I made it to her room, knocked on her door and waited for her answer. She opened the door, and she was looking fine and scrumptious. She had on these pink short shorts on and a white T-shirt, and her body was looking so nice. Also, she had the prettiest feet ever, and they were kind of hypnotizing to me. Her black hair draped her shoulders. Her face and eyes were so gorgeous, and I just couldn’t ignore the goodness and the sweetness that was in front of me. After I was staring for so long, she asked me if I was gonna come in. I stuttered, “Oh y-y-yeah, I’m coming…um in to um y-y-y-your place, I mean room.”

She laughed and said that I was so cute. I walked in, and I just couldn’t believe how awkward I was with her just now. I was so embarrassed. Her roommate’s door was closed, and we ended up going into her room. Jessica’s room was a little messy with her clothes on the floor and her desk had a bunch of stuff on it. The only thing that was clear was the bed. I put my bookbag down and a naïve 18-year-old Isaiah wondered how were we gonna study in her room? All of a sudden, Jessica slammed the door shut, ran over to me and pushed me on her bed. Then, she got on top of me and started kissing on me. I was surprised, shocked and excited, and I just started kissing her back. We ended up just making out.

Now, we weren’t making out long. It was about a minute that we were kissing. I was expecting us to just kiss, until she started trying to take my shirt off and go below the belt. She was confused and asked what was wrong. I said, “Oh well, I’m not trying to have sex at all. I’m trying to be a virgin till marriage. Is it alright if we just kiss?”

She looked at me, chuckled and said, “Oh yeah, I remember you telling me that. Yeah, we can just kiss it’s no problem.”

I thanked her for understanding, and we continued to make out. Then, thirty seconds later, she was trying to go below the belt again. I stopped her. Before I could say anything, she laughed and said, “You’re too cute. Look, I think I have something that will help.”

She got up, went into her drawer and took out these pills. I was confused and didn’t understand. I tried to get back up, but she pushed me back down on the bed. She laughed and said, “Relax, Isaiah. Just let me get back on top and relax, okay?”

I listened to her, and she ended up getting back on top of me. She started giving me pecks of kisses, showed me one of the pills and whispered, “This pill will help you relax a little more with me.”

She put it close to my mouth, and I stopped her and asked her what is it. She smiled and said, “Oh, it’s just something to help you relax. I promise it’s completely harmless. Look, I’ll even take it.”

She put it in her mouth, got some water and swallowed it. Then, she said, “See, it’s fine, Isaiah, you can trust me.”

Jessica brought another pill close to my face and tried to put the pill in my mouth, but I stopped her again. Then, I said, “Look, Jessica, I’m not trying to take anything. You’re making me a little uncomfortable and—

Before I could finish, Jessica kissed me and whispered, “Okay, I’m sorry. We’ll just go back to kissing, I promise.”

Before I could say anything, she just started kissing on me. Eventually, I started kissing her back, and we were just making out again. We’re kissing for a good two minutes, when she’s slowly trying to touch me below the belt. I stopped her again, and she said, “Isaiah, just take this pill. I promise you’ll be more relaxed.”

After that moment, I realized that I had to leave. So, I said, “Look, I just realized that I have a lot of homework, and I just really need to go.”

I got her off of me, and she said, “Isaiah, I’m sorry. Just come back to my bed. I promise you, we’re just gonna kiss.”

I shook my head and replied, “I’m okay, Jessica. I just really have to go, I’m sorry.”

I told her that I would see her in class, and I ended up leaving her room.

I was outside my door, and I could hear Craig and his girl of the night having sex. I shook my head, opened the door and went to my room. I sat on my bed and could not believe that I was in a scary situation with Jessica, the girl with the pills.

This is the end of “The Girl with the Pills.”

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