A Midnight Dose of Her

It was late when I first saw you,

The kind of night where silence hums louder than sound,

Where the moon spills silver like a secret across the sky.

And then there was you.

Short curls resting like shadows on your crown,

Caramel skin catching light like it was chosen and not given,

Eyes not just looking,

But reaching,

Like they knew parts of me I’ve never spoken aloud.

Your lips soft as something meant to ruin me slowly,

The kind of sweetness that lingers,

Long after the moment has passed.

The moon was bright that night,

But it dimmed the second you existed in it.

I told myself you were just a moment,

Just another passing face in the dark.

But you don’t pass,

You stay.

You settle into my thoughts like a quiet addiction.

Uninvited,

Unshaken,

Unchallenged.

Now I crave the unseen versions of you,

The sides no one else has traced,

The depths no one else has dared to drown in.

I want to lose myself in you,

Not gently,

Not safely,

But completely.

To feel what it means to be intoxicated by a presence,

To let you run through my veins,

Like something both holy and dangerous.

You’ve entered my system without warning,

Rewriting me from the inside out.

And now I don’t know how long you’ll stay,

Or how long I’ll survive like this,

Caught somewhere between euphoria and ruin.

I tell myself I need to come down,

I need to find clarity,

I need to remember who I was before you,

But clarity feels empty,

Compared to the chaos of you.

It’s gotten worse.

You haunt the quiet parts of my mind,

Turning every still moment into a memory of you.

My thoughts don’t belong to me anymore,

They orbit you.

Even my body betrays me,

Pulse uneven,

Breath unsteady,

Like something inside me is collapsing,

Without your presence to hold it together.

I feel sick,

Not the kind that fades with time,

But the kind that deepens.

And somehow,

You’re the only cure I can imagine.

What do I have to become to keep you?

What do I have to sacrifice to feel more of you?

This isn’t want anymore,

It’s desperation dressed as devotion.

I’d trade pieces of myself without hesitation,

Reshape my world around you,

Just to feel whole again,

Or at least,

Whatever version of “whole” you’ve redefined.

Without you, I unravel.

LIfe turns jagged,

Restless,

Unbearably loud in all the wrong ways.

You’ve become more than a thought,

More than a feeling,

You are the substance now,

The craving,

The need,

My remedy and my ruin.

And a midnight dose of you,

Barely keeps me alive anymore.

I need more.

Every Good Thing She Carries

First and foremost,

Thank you, God, for her.

Thank you for a love I didn’t see coming,

Yet somehow feels like it was always on its way.

She arrived like answered pray,

Like light slipping through a window I didn’t know was open,

She changed the rhythm of my life,

And introduced a new sound known as love.

She loves me in languages I had never learned,

In ways my heart didn’t know it could be spoken to,

I’m truly grateful to her,

And every good thing she carries.

I love the way she wears confidence,

It’s not loud or forced,

But it’s like how sunlight rests on the morning,

Natural and undeniable.

She knows her beauty,

Not just what the mirror reflect,

But what her soul has always whispered.

She stands in her truth,

Unmoved by doubt,

Rooted in a quiet certainty that inspires mine.

I am unguarded with her,

Able to place my thoughts in her hands,

Without fear of them breaking,

I trust her with my heart,

The way one trusts something sacred,

Knowing she will treat it well,

As something more precious than rubies.

Her kindness flows without hesitation,

Like a river that does not question where it’s going,

Only that it must give.

She welcomes my world as if it were her own,

Meeting my people with warmth,

Welcoming others with grace,

That feels both rare and familiar.

There’s beauty in her generosity,

But even more in the way she gives it freely.

She is my partner in every sense,

Steady in joy,

Present in hardship,

Unshaken when life asks more of us.

I don’t just exist with her,

I experience all the true beauty of life.

She is the one I walk beside,

Equally yoked,

Aligned in purpose,

Moving in the same direction,

With hearts that understand each other.

She is a woman who reveres You,

Who places You at the center,

And allows that love to overflow into everything else.

I see it when she prays,

When she reads Your Word,

When she moves with faith,

Even when the path isn’t clear.

I know she is not here by chance,

You wrote her into my life,

With intention,

With care,

With love that only You could design.

So I thank You,

For preparing me for her,

For allowing our paths to meet,

For the love we now carry together,

And for every good thing you placed inside of her.

Letting Time Do What I Can’t

It was only one night’s chance,

One perfect, reckless dance,

A moment wrapped in spark,

Now it’s echoing in the dark.

I try to keep my distance,

Fighting off this persistence,

Telling my heart to let it be,

While it keeps reaching for what could be.

You replay inside my mind,

Like a feeling I can’t confine,

Still lingering in my soul,

Still a pull I can’t control.

You felt like something rare,

Like a love that could’ve been there,

Beautiful in every way,

The kind that makes you want to stay.

But I know what this really is,

More than just a stolen kiss,

A fleet high, a perfect view,

But not a life I can build with you.

And it hurts not speaking truth,

Not chasing what I want to do,

How I crave you, how I yearn,

Even knowing there’s nothing to earn.

My heart says take the chance,

Go back and relive the dance,

But my mind won’t let me fall

For something that won’t last at all.

You’re a feeling I can’t keep,

Something beautiful but not for me,

Not the future I need to choose,

Just a moment I have to lose.

So I’m stepping back again,

Even though it feels like I’m losing,

Letting logic take the lead,

Over every silent plea.

So I’ll let time do what I can’t,

Break this want I never planned,

‘Cause if I follow how I feel,

I’d chase a love that isn’t real.

Love in the Margins

I remember the first day that we met,

You were lost and asking for directions to a formal event,

You were attending alone,

It was the same that I was going to as well,

And I was also attending alone.

You were a sight to behold,

You wore a beautiful red dress that traced your silhouette effortlessly,

Lipstick the perfect shade of bold,

Long black hair resting gently on your shoulder.

Light brown eyes that caught mine,

And refused to let go.

We would walk together to the event,

We stayed almost instinctively close to each other,

We laughed like we had known each other longer than a night,

The connection between us was pure and easy,

It felt right to be with you,

To guide you to the event.

When we made it to the event,

I thought we would go our separate ways,

But you wanted to be with me,

You still wanted us to be together,

You didn’t want any limitations.

And it felt natural being with you,

I had never wanted close proximity with someone,

Never wanted to see a smile up close,

Never wanted to memorize every detail about a person,

Could you be something more to me?

Could you be my opportunity to experience real love?

Could the possibilities be endless for us?

We were close after the event,

And you wanted us to be closer that night,

Closer than conversation,

Closer than laughter,

But I hesitated,

Because I knew crossing that line,

Would mean I could never return to who I was before.

So I went home and pretended restraint was strength,

But my imagination betrayed me,

I pictured staying with you all night,

Pictured the red dress falling like surrender,

Pictured us closing the space that we pretended not to feel.

We kept growing closer,

Learning each other’s fears and dreams,

You had me all to yourself,

I skipped obligations,

Let responsibilities blur,

Bent pieces of myself,

Just to fit into your world.

I wanted you to be the one,

The one I crossed the line for,

The one I learned love with for the first time,

But then you shook my world,

With a confession that would change everything.

Someone else already had your heart.

You were committed and anchored somewhere else,

But you still wanted me,

You told me I could have a place too,

Just not the whole place.

There would be boundaries.

There would be limits.

And that’s when the real battle began,

Things were now different and apparent,

Every time I moved closer,

I felt the invisible wall.

Every laugh was followed by restraint

Every touch carried hesitation,

Every hope came with a disclaimer.

I was fighting to claim space,

In a heart that was already occupied,

But I told myself love is complex,

Love isn’t always clean,

Maybe real love has its limits.

But deep down I wanted something more,

I wanted something reckless and whole,

I wanted something with no rules,

I did not want borrowed time,

Nor did I want shared devotion,

I wanted love without footnotes,

Without conditions or margins,

And you could not give that to me,

So I had to let you go.

But I wonder now,

Was I foolish to walk away?

Should I have accepted the space you offered me?

Should I have learned to love in the margins?

I Wasn’t Supposed to Notice You

You were never part of the plan,

Especially not here of all places,

Not between tasks and passing hours,

Not while I was busy becoming more,

Busy becoming someone whole on my own.

I was focused on my work,

Focused on my discipline,

Focused on keeping my world small and contained,

Devoted only to God and myself,

Or so I told myself,

But then you appeared.

Glasses catching the light like a pause in time,

Brown eyes behind the frame,

So steady and warm,

Curly hair framing your face,

As if it had a mind of its own,

You were just soft chaos impossible to ignore,

And a thought I wasn’t meant to finish.

Now you arrive unannounced,

Sliding through my phone like a whisper,

And I tell myself not to linger,

Not to desire you more,

Like a precious gem admired only through glass,

But I hesitate every time our paths cross,

Caught between restraint and want.

You feel real in a way you shouldn’t.

You’re not loud or demanding,

But you’re just present,

You’re effortless,

And hard to resist.

I want to admire you quietly,

From a distance I swear I’ll keep.

I don’t want more,

That’s the truth I repeat like a prayer.

I only want the spell to loosen,

For your name to stop echoing,

In the back of my mind.

But you’re a drug I would never touch,

Yet I wonder about your taste,

Whether it’s love on the tongue,

Or a beautiful nightmare in disguise.

I rewind and rewind,

Lingering too long on moments,

That were never meant for me.

I’m praying this doesn’t deepen.

I’m praying that I can forget you,

But I worry that it’s too late,

Because I’ve already noticed you,

And now every version of forgetting,

Feels like a lie.

I carry your shadow in the corners of my mind,

A fleeting echo I can’t leave behind.

I Chose What I Knew

I miss you today,
Not in the way love demands,
But in the quiet ways that linger.
I miss our conversations,
The laughter that came easily,
The adventures that felt simple.
But more than anything,
I miss the friendship we once held,
And I wish it could still live here.

I remember the day you told me you loved me.
I didn’t know what to say.
It surprised me,
Not because it wasn’t sincere,
It was because my heart didn’t know how to meet yours there.

So I told you I had love for you too,
Trying to be careful with my words,
Making it clear that I’m talking about friendship,
Hoping that would be enough.
Then I tried to move forward
As if nothing had changed,
Pretending the moment hadn’t shifted us.
I knew it wasn’t fair,
But I was trying to protect us,
And what we already had.

You grew bolder with your hope.
You asked me, quietly and then clearly,
To imagine more with you.
And I chose not to see the signs,
Not because I didn’t value you,
But because I valued the safety of what we were.

I couldn’t envision love with you.
I couldn’t force a feeling
That wasn’t growing inside me.
And you deserved someone who was certain about you.
Someone who could choose love without hesitation.

I was content being your friend.
I was grateful for where we stood.
But you asked me to take a leap of faith,
And I chose something else,
I didn’t choose fear,
But I chose honesty.
I placed my faith in truth over desire,
In clarity over confusion.
We weren’t meant to walk the same path forward,
And I finally learned to accept that.

So yes, I miss you today.
I miss the time, the closeness, the ease we once had,
But I don’t regret the choice I made.

You walked away because friendship wasn’t enough for you,
And I respect that.
But friendship was enough for me.
It was safe.
It was genuine.
It meant everything in the way I knew how to give.

I didn’t choose love,
Not because I lacked it,
But because I didn’t understand it back then.I chose what I knew.
And today,
I’m grateful for what we were,
Even if we couldn’t become more.

I Published My First Book

I’m so excited to share that I have officially published my first book on Amazon!

It’s a poetry book titled “Almost Four Months, Just a Day Off.”

More details about the book can be found through the link down below:

Almost Four Months, Just a Day Off https://a.co/d/18L8Vhi

Hardcover copies are currently the only versions I have available at the moment!

Be sure to follow me on my Instagram @isaiah.warfield and my TikTok @isaiah.warfield for more updates/information

The Ocean Girl: Part Five

I wasn’t prepared for the storm at sea,

I felt lost and completely helpless,

To the tides that were no longer peaceful or tranquil,

They were violent and aggressive,

Chaos was all around me,

And I needed to take action.

I wanted to be there for her in any way I could,

I had to be there for her in that moment,

Before I could say anything,

She moved away from me,

Wiped away her tears,

And thanked me for walking back with her.

She tried to say goodbye to me,

But I wouldn’t let her.

I asked if I could come inside,

She was surprised and asked why,

I got closer to her,

And whispered that I wanted to be with her,

Just a little longer.

She teared up,

And invited me inside.

I embraced her with loving arms,

And gave her the support and love she needed.

She didn’t feel so alone,

And she thanked me for being with her,

In a time that she was struggling,

I felt like I truly saw all of her beauty that day,

That I was always so afraid to explore.

On the surface she seemed perfect,

But her depths told a different story.

She truly was like the ocean.

The Ocean Girl: Part Three

As we’re walking together,

She suddenly stopped.

I looked at her,

And I saw sadness in her eyes.

Something was suddenly bothering her,

Out of nowhere,

She grabbed my hand.

This was the first time we held hands,

And it was strangely relaxing to me.

It was calming and soothing,

And it just felt so right.

I was floating for the first time because of her,

I held on to her hand,

And decided to just go with the flow,

And allow these new tides to take me away.

I quickly snapped out of the little spell I was on,

And focused on her again,

There was a quietness to her now,

And I wanted to be there for her.

Before I can say anything,

She whispers that she wants me to follow her.

She wants me to come back to her place.

The Ocean Girl: Part Two

As we’re walking together,

I noticed that her hand was inching closer to mine,

But then she pulled it away.

Did she want us to be closer?

Did she long for us close the gap between us?

I wondered if maybe we should be closer,

Maybe there was something more I needed to explore

I’m drawn to her,

I was curious about her,

I wanted to know more about her,

And explore areas I had never been before,

But I was resisting her at the same time.

I was afraid.

I was afraid of the depths I knew nothing about.

I was worried about how deep I could end up,

I didn’t know if I could swim in such dangerous territories,

I was worried it would lead to me ultimately drowning.

Where I’m at now with her is good,

It’s comfortable and safe,

And it doesn’t need to change.

I’m okay with staying on the shore,

There’s no need to venture out more,

But things would soon change.

She would change the tides,

And change everything between us forever.