Please Forgive Me

I’m glad that you’re back in my life again.

I’ve missed you so much.

I hated that there was a division between us.

I hated the wall between us.

I longed for your warm touch.

Ironically, it wasn’t that big of a wall.

It was a little wall that was easy to step over.

It’s crazy that I didn’t have to jump over it.

I just had to will myself to the wall.

Sadly, that was easier said than done.

 

There was something in me that never existed before.

It was doubt about you.

I had doubt about us.

I didn’t know if we could be together.

I thought that maybe it was a mistake to have you in my life.

I thought that I didn’t deserve someone like you.

I thought that I wasn’t worthy of you.

I thought that we couldn’t go the distance.

 

I’m glad that we have each other again.

I’m glad that I could finally will myself over that small wall between us.

Thank you for your patience and kindness with me.

I promise to always keep you close to my heart.

Life may have gotten crazy, but it was no excuse to push you away from me.

You’re a part of who I am, and I love who I am when I’m with you.

I’ll hold on to you as long as I can.

Please forgive me for abandoning you.

Please forgive me.

 

Silence in a Dark Place

I’m alone in the dark with nowhere to go.

I aimlessly run forward further into the darkness.

I long to find an ending.

I hope it’s of comfort and warmth, but I fear it will be an unfamiliar place.

A place of nightmares.

A place of suffering.

A place of terror.

A place of horror.

How could one survive such a place?

I pray for an answer, but I get no response.

God’s silence is deafening.

 

I’m running but to no purpose.

There’s nothing waiting for me but total darkness.

Yet, I still run, but I don’t know why.

I want to stop, but I can’t.

I’m coughing blood, and I start slowing down.

My body wants me to stop, but I can’t.

My spirit just keeps pushing me.

 

I start crying because I know what’s going to happen.

I know how my story’s going to end.

It will end with me not making to my destination.

It will end with me not knowing what I was running towards.

I wonder if I was even close.

Or was I too far away from the light at the end of this never-ending tunnel of darkness?

I pray to God again one last time for answer, but I get no response.

There’s only silence in a dark place.

 

The White Mask: Part Five

Dylan is in shock to find out that he killed Dan. He can’t believe it. His heart is pumping like a speeding train, and he can’t seem to control his breathing. He looks down and sees the white mask in his hands. He quickly throws it across the room, then he looks at Cupid. Cupid tilts his head to the right and smiles ever so slightly at Dylan. Dylan finally gets control of his breathing and says, “Please, tell me that I didn’t kill Dan.”

Cupid’s smile widens. He tilts his head to the left, laughs and whispers, “Oh, you killed Dan. I saw the whole thing, and it was honestly a work of art. The passion and the drive you showed was breath-taking. It was kind of romantic.”

Dylan shakes his head and says, “No, I just put that mask on a couple of seconds. There’s no way that I killed Dan. There’s no way that I could ever do such a thing. I don’t remember doing anything like that.”

Cupid chuckles and responds, “Well, that’s good because you weren’t supposed to remember anything. However, if you don’t believe your blood-stained hands, change of clothes and that bloody knife in the bathroom, I would be more than happy to go in detail of all the torturous, sick, twisted things you did to Dan.”

Cupid slowly tilts his head to the right. He continues to smile at Dylan, but it’s freaking Dylan out. Then, Dylan gets up to see if there was a bloody knife in the bathroom. He gets up and walks to the bathroom. Dylan’s hesitant to peak in the bathroom, but Cupid yells for him to take a look. Dylan exhales, and he’s disappointed to see a bloody knife in the sink. He drops to the ground, and he starts crying. Cupid starts laughing and says, “You know, it’s interesting seeing you be so regretful in killing Dan.”

“Why is it interesting?” Dylan asks.

“Because you enjoyed every minute of torturing and killing him. It was fun for you, Dylan. In fact, watching you murder Dan was like listening to a song. You were killing him softly, and I loved every minute of it,” Cupid says.

Cupid smiles as he reminisces about the brutal, horrific murder he witnessed minutes ago. Dylan looks at Cupid, and he’s frightened by his look. Cupid quickly snaps out of his daze and says, “Let’s not forget why you did what you did to Dan. Remember, he was a monster that mistreated your beloved Melanie. You saved her, Dylan, and now you two can be together.”

Dylan realizes that Cupid is right, and he can finally be with Melanie. Her husband can no longer get in the way of their love for each other. Dylan thought to himself that he was going to have his Juliet. There’s a sense of relief from Dylan, then Cupid gets up and heads for the door. Dylan asks Cupid why he’s leaving, and Cupid responds, “Oh, you don’t need me right now. You’ll be fine, but don’t worry, I’ll be back in a couple of months.”

Cupid opens the door, but Dylan stops him and asks why he’ll be back in a couple months. Cupid smiles, looks at Dylan and says, “Just to check on you and keep you motivated. Also, I want to visit you on my favorite day of the year.”

Dylan frowns and explains that Valentine’s Day is next year. Cupid chuckles and says, “Valentine’s Day? I can’t stand that day. No, I’m talking about Halloween. Something tells me that it’ll be an interesting Halloween for you and Melanie.”

Dylan asks Cupid what he means, but Cupid only smiles and doesn’t answer his question. He quickly leaves and disappears into the night. Dylan locks the door, looks to his left and sees the white mask lying on the floor.  He goes to it, picks it up and stares into it. Then, he shakes his head, takes it to his room and puts it in a box. Dylan hopes he never has to see the white mask again, and he can just put it behind him. He smiles because him and Melanie can be together finally with no interferences. He would have his Juliet.

A few months passed, and Dylan was still having a hard time getting closer to Melanie. Dylan understood that Melanie needed time to figure things out, but he was still hurt that she didn’t try to make an effort with him after some months passed. He would text her daily, but he would barely get a response from her. Most of the time she would reply a day or two late, and it really bothered Dylan. Also, he was buying her flowers, chocolates, perfume and food, at least two or three times a week. Sadly, it still didn’t make a difference. He didn’t understand. Why couldn’t she see how much he loved her? Why couldn’t she see how much he needed her? Dylan starts to think to himself that she’s not taking their relationship seriously, and it’s a problem from him. Dylan killed Melanie’s abusive husband. He saved her from a monster, but it feels like she doesn’t appreciate everything he’s done for her.

Today, it’s Halloween. Dylan is not working his typical 2-11 shift, but he’s working a 9am-6pm shift at Sam’s Club. He comes in 30 minutes early, and he’s excited to be spending time with Melanie. They have a date today. When he arrives at work, he walks into Sam’s Club with a dozen roses and a wrapped present for Melanie. He’s feeling bold and excited today because he’s finally gonna have lunch with Melanie again. It’s been four months since their last “date,” and Dylan’s ready for his special Halloween date with Melanie.

He puts all of his things for Melanie in his locker. He thinks about his sweet Melanie and texts, “Hey beautiful, I can’t wait to see you for lunch. I’m so excited! Also, I have a surprise for you that I know you’ll love.”

After he texts that, he closes his locker. All of a sudden, he’s confronted by Elijah. He tells Dylan that he needs to talk to him. Elijah and Dylan go to the break room, and they find a table to sit at. Thankfully, it’s empty. Dylan urges Elijah to tell him what’s going on. Elijah sighs and says, “Okay, you’re doing too much with Melanie, man.”

Dylan doesn’t understand. He asks Elijah how he knows he’s doing too much, and Elijah adds, “Because she told me, Dylan. You’re making her very uncomfortable with the gifts. She told me that she’s been trying to be nice to you, but she’s close to telling a supervisor about you.”

Dylan thinks that Elijah is lying to him, and he doesn’t want to hear anything else from him. Dylan says, “Then, why is she having lunch with me, Matthew? If she didn’t want to be with me, then she wouldn’t agree to go on a date with me.”

“Bro, it’s not a date. She’s just trying to tell you what I’m telling you. She’s honestly hoping that you listen to me, instead of her telling you when you have lunch with her,” Elijah explains.

Dylan shakes his head because he can’t believe what he’s hearing. Why is Elijah trying to sabotage his relationship with Melanie? Elijah says, “Listen, I understand that you…like her, but she doesn’t feel the same way about you. No amount of gifts or text messages is going to change that. She’s not interested in you, man. You need to let her go and move on.”

Dylan is angered by Elijah’s words and replies,”I’m not giving up on her, Elijah. I’m a hopeless romantic. That’s just who I am. I’m giving her my all because I love Melanie so much. I’m sorry that I can’t be all nonchalant and hide my emotions like you do Elijah. I want Melanie to know how I feel about her. I’m not afraid of embarrassing or exposing myself to girls like you are. I feel bad for you Elijah because no girl is ever going to love you because you’re a coward that doesn’t know how to take a chance on love. It’s pathetic and sad.”

Elijah is a little hurt by Dylan’s insulting words, but he gives a chuckle and responds, “You know what, have fun on your date? It does take a lot of dedication and wasted time to be obsessed with a girl that doesn’t want you. In fact, you give everyone here at Sam’s Club something to laugh about. It’s funny, for four months, you’ve been harassing a newly single mother that recently lost her husband. You’ve been making things uncomfortable for her at work with your stupid gifts that she just throws away in the trash. So, I can’t wait to hear what precious gift you got her for your little date. It should be interesting to hear from her because she does like to talk to me. She’s a real fast responder too, but you wouldn’t know anything about that, would you?”

Dylan is silent and angry. He wants to punch Elijah in the face, but he controls himself. Elijah laughs and walks away. Then, he turns around and yells, “Oh, and happy Halloween, Dylan. Have fun on your little date, you piece of trash.”

Dylan couldn’t believe the words that Elijah spoke to him. A few minutes later, he gets a text from Melanie. He’s excited to see the text message, but he’s disappointed to see that it reads that she won’t be able to have lunch with him because something came up. He doesn’t understand. Dylan asks why she has to cancel, but there is no response. Ten minutes later, he clocks in. As he’s walking to the backroom, he stumbles upon Melanie. She arrives an hour early to work, and Dylan sees this as the opportunity to get close to her. Dylan says hi to Melanie, and she replies hi back. Then, she asks Dylan if Elijah talked to him, and he responds, “Kind of, but look. I actually got you a present that I think you’ll love.”

Before Melanie could object, Dylan begs her to see the present he has for her. She says fine, and he rushes to his locker to get the roses and the special present for her. Dylan makes it back to Melanie as she groans at the roses and present. Dylan tells her that she’ll really like this present if she just gave it a chance. Melanie sighs, takes the presents and opens it up. When she opens it, her mouth drops. She can’t believe the present that Dylan gave her. She simply responds, “Oh my God.”

This is the end of “The White Mask: Part Five.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The White Mask: Part Three

The man in the red suit tells Dylan that his name is Cupid, and he’s here to help him. After a few seconds of silence, Dylan looks to his right and sees his shotgun near his coat rack. Cupid discovers where Dylan’s eyes are looking. He gives a devilish smile and whispers, “I wouldn’t advise shooting me. You could damage your furniture.”

Dylan didn’t care to think about Cupid’s words, he reaches down for his shotgun. He grabs it, turns the safety off, cocks it and says, “Alright pal, you got five seconds to get out of my house before I shoot you. I don’t want no trouble, you hear?”

Cupid laughs and says, “Alright, I’m leaving. Don’t need to get your panties in a twist. But before I go, don’t you want to know how I can help you?”

“Not interested, pal. Just get out of my house,” Dylan says.

Cupid laughs and says, “I promise I’ll get out, but I have an interesting proposition that I think you would like to hear. Why it’s about your beloved Melanie.”

Dylan didn’t understand how Cupid could possibly know about Melanie. However, he was interested in learning more about what Cupid knows. He starts lowering his shotgun and relaxes. Then, he asks Cupid what all he knows about him and Melanie. Cupid smiles and says, “Oh, I know everything about you two love birds.”

Cupid goes on to explain how he knows that Dylan has been in love with Melanie for about a year now. Also, Melanie and Dylan had just gone on their date today, and Dylan had just gotten Melanie’s number. Dylan is stunned by Cupid’s knowledge of his relationship with Melanie. It’s surprising to him, and he asks, “So, are you actually the Cupid? The Cupid, the angel or god of love?”

Cupid chuckles and responds, “In a way, but I’d like to think of myself as the god of passion/desire, if you will. That’s my area of expertise, honestly.”

Dylan nods his head and Cupid continues, “Enough about me, let’s talk about the solution that I have to unite you and Melanie together.”

Dylan is still hesitant with Cupid, and he doesn’t know if he can trust him. He asks Cupid why is he wearing red sunglasses in this dark room. Cupid smiles and whispers, “Let’s just say, these sunglasses help me see things and people more clearly. Now, can I please tell you my solution to your problem?”

Dylan still isn’t sure, but he decides to hear Cupid out. Cupid smiles and says, “It’s quite simple really. All you have to do is kill Melanie’s husband.”

This comes as a surprise to Dylan. He starts laughing, and Cupid joins in with the laughter. After a few seconds of laughter, Cupid quickly stops smiling and laughing. He just stares at Dylan. Dylan is filled with fear now, and he asks if Cupid is serious about murdering Dan. Cupid tilts his head to the right and says, “Why wouldn’t I be serious? Melanie can’t leave or divorce Dan. You have to know that killing him is the only way for her to be free of Dan’s torment and in your arms.”

“That’s just crazy! That’s ridiculous!” Dylan yells.

Cupid giggles, tilts his head to the left and responds, “I know. However, the greatest love story of all time is crazy and ridiculous.”

Dylan has this confused look on his face and Cupid continues, “It involves two, young hopeless romantics who fell in love with each other at first sight. Their love led to lies, deception, and most importantly murder. It ended with the star-crossed lover killing themselves because they couldn’t live without each other. Do you know the story that I’m talking about?”

Dylan knows this story all too well, and he whispers, “Romeo and Juliet.”

“Yes, Romeo and Juliet. Why, isn’t Melanie your Juliet?” Cupid asks.

Dylan sighs and responds, “She is my Juliet, but—

Cupid interrupts and asks, “And would you not kill for the woman that you love with all your heart?”

Dylan nods his head without hesitation and Cupid says, “Melanie is wondering where her Romeo is. Why aren’t you there for her? You’re her Romeo, are you not?”

Dylan says, “I am her Romeo, but love is—

“Love is crazy. Love is ridiculous. Love is passionate. Love is murderous,” Cupid interrupts.

There’s a long silence between Cupid and Dylan. Dylan knows that killing Dan is crazy, but it makes so much sense to him. However, he could never do such a thing, even if he wanted to. He couldn’t go through with killing Dan. Cupid knows what Dylan is thinking and whispers, “Dylan, what if I gave you the ultimate tool to kill Dan with ease? In fact, what if I told you that there was a way for you to not remember killing him in the first place?”

Before Dylan can say anything, Cupid puts something white on the coffee table. Then, he brings a lamp closer to the table and shines the light on this sinister-looking white mask. The white mask has evil eyes, sharp teeth and a sinister smile. It isn’t scary to Dylan, but it’s rather comforting to him. He walks closer to the table and reaches to touch it, however he’s stopped by Cupid. Cupid says, “Wait, let me tell you about this mask before you go and put it on.”

Dylan stops himself from touching the mask and listens to what Cupid has to say. “Now, this mask will give you the drive, the determination and the motivation to do what’s necessary,” Cupid says.

“Okay, that’s kind of a little vague. But how am I not going to remember what I did?” Dylan asks.

“It’s quite simple really, all you have to do is put the mask on in front of a mirror. As long as you put it on in front of a mirror, you’ll be fine and forget whatever deed you commit once the mask is off. Think of a mirror as a protective blanket from the white mask. But be warned Dylan, if you forget to put on the white mask in front of a mirror, then you will be lost forever wearing the white mask,” Cupid explains.

The last part scares Dylan. He’s still not sure if it’s necessary to murder Dan. Cupid smiles and says, “I tell you what. I’ll give you two days to determine if you want to utilize the white mask or not. If you don’t want it on day two, then I’ll just take it back it’s that simple. What do you say?”

Dylan isn’t sure. Cupid adds, “I promise, I’m only trying to help you get the girl. Nothing more.”

“I guess wouldn’t hurt to think about it some more,” Dylan says.

“Excellent! Then, I guess I’ll see you again soon,” Cupid smiles and whispers.

Cupid leaves the white mask on the table and walks past Dylan. Dylan manages to get a little look at Cupid, but not enough to see his face in the dark room. Then, Cupid opens the door, looks at Dylan, smiles and says, “You know, I am rooting for you, Dylan. I’m honestly just dying to see a sweet, hopeless romantic like yourself get the girl.”

Before Dylan can say anything, Cupid goes out and disappears into the night. Now, Dylan is alone with the white mask.

This is the end of “The White Mask: Part Three.”

Be sure to like, share and comment your thoughts on this short story.

I will be sharing and posting “The White Mask: Part Four” Saturday on the Warfield Zone.

 

 

 

Another Petty-ish Moment

Last year, I was working a typical, Saturday morning at Sheetz from 6:00 am-2:00 pm. As usual, I was stationed at the front to work the register. Five minutes into my shift, I’m approached by my co-worker Sasha. She asked me if she could talk to me about something important. We’re not really busy early in the morning, so I didn’t have to worry about any customers. I asked her what was up, and she said, “So I have this friend that I was with on Sunday, and she saw a picture of you on Facebook and thought you were cute.”

I giggled, and I asked her how her friend saw a picture of me. Sasha explained that she was just scrolling through Facebook, and her friend Sarah stopped her scrolling when she saw a picture of me. Sasha continued, “Yeah, you were wearing this really nice suit, and you were with your sister and cousin I believe.”

At first, I didn’t know what picture she was talking about, but she showed it to me on her phone. Once I realized the picture, I said, “Oh that picture. Yeah, I was at wedding last week. It was my cousin Dajah’s wedding. I got to be an usher, and I was taking a couple of pictures with my cousin Camilla and my brother Isaac. It was such a beautiful ceremony, and I’m just so happy for my little cousin.”

Before I continue the story, I need to address and help my Facebook stalkers out. So, if you go on my page, which you always do, go on my see all photos tab and click on uploads. Once you click on uploads, click on the first picture of my uploads picture, which should be my profile pic. After that, you just keep swiping left till you reach 50 of 95 and 51 of 95. Or you can just swipe down till you see me in a nice suit with my cousin and brother. Anyways, those are the two pictures that me and Sasha are referring to right now in this story. I just wanted to help y’all out and make y’all’s life a little bit easier. I kind of appreciate you all, hope y’all like them and happy stalking. Now back to the story.

“Aww that’s nice that your young cousin got married and all,” Sasha said.

I replied, “Oh no, she’s older than me. I just call her my little cousin because she’s shorter than me.”

We both laughed, then Sasha talked about her friend was so cute and asked if I was interested in her friend. I asked if she would show me a picture of her, but she refused. She said, “Wow, Isaiah, you can’t trust me when I say that my friend is cute and pretty. I’m hurt.”

I looked at her and said, “Sasha, your friend saw me on Facebook and thought that I was cute. Don’t I deserve the same courtesy? I should see a picture of her and determine if I’m interested in her or not. I mean, I need a little something to work with since she got enough to determine that I was a whole snack for her.”

We both started laughing, and she understood where I was coming from. So, she went on her phone and tried to find a “good” picture of her on her phone. After five minutes, she eventually found a “good” picture of her in her phone and showed it to me. When I first saw the picture, I thought that she was pretty. So, I said, “Alright, she cute. I’m not gonna promise anything, but I’m down to get to know her a little bit and see what’s up. You can just give me her number or something.”

Sasha was happy to hear this and explained that she could give her friend my number. I told her that was fine, and she went back to the kitchen all excited that I would be potentially “talking” to her friend.

After all that, I went back to register. It was around 7:00 am, and it was still a quiet day at Sheetz so far. Then, this old, white man came into the store. He looked like he was in a rush to find some things. He ended up getting a coffee, and a few snacks. After he got all his things, he headed my way to check his things out. He was in a rush, but once he saw me, he started to slow down. Then, he stopped halfway towards me. There was someone behind him, and he politely let that person in front of him. I thought it was really weird because he was in rush, now all of sudden, he was no longer in a rush. It didn’t make sense. After I was done with the customer, I said to the old, white man, “I can take you right here, sir.”

He looked at me with disgust and said, “Bring someone else up to ring me, would you? I don’t want you.”

I was so confused and perplexed as to why he didn’t want me to ring him up. Then, I looked at myself and realized the reason. I sighed and decided to try to call someone up to ring because I wasn’t trying to deal with him. However, I quickly noticed that my headset was off. Before I could turn it on, the old, white man said, “Hurry up, nig….boy.”

I stopped myself from turning on my headset and wondered to myself, “Was this old man really about to call me the n-word?”

Also, it didn’t help that he called me a “boy” either. So, I looked at him and asked him again what he said. He saw how serious I was and said, “Just hurry up, I’m in a rush.”

I responded, “Oh ok.”

Now, I was looking down on my headset and an idea popped in my head. I was thinking to myself that maybe I ask for someone to ring up this old white man, but I don’t turn on my headset. Then, I asked myself, “Do I really want to be that petty and ruin this old man’s day?”

The answer was yes. At this moment, I was gonna be petty-ish with this old man. Why? Because he ruined my day, and I was just gonna return the favor. There was a part of me that wanted to turn the other cheek, but I just couldn’t at this moment. So, I said in my off headset, “Is someone able to ring this person up?”

I knew that no one heard me, but the old man was satisfied. Then, he said, “Yeah, I don’t want you touching my things. I prefer someone else.”

Now, I deal with a lot of racists at Sheetz, but this one right here was the most ridiculous one to me. I didn’t say anything to him after his statement, and I just stocked cigarettes while he was the only person in line.

A few minutes passed, and he was frustrated and growing impatient. I was just standing at the register watching him. He was looking at his watch, and he asked me, “Hey, is someone gonna come up and ring me or not, boy?”

Again, he called me “boy” and it just made me chuckle a little bit because I could feel the anger in his voice. I smiled, looked at him and said, “Oh, I don’t know what’s going on. They might’ve just forgotten about you, but I’ll ask again.”

So, I asked again on my off headset if someone would ring up the old man.

Ten minutes passed, and this old, white man was still waiting for someone other than me to ring him. He was determined to have his stuff rung up by a white person, and it was honestly pathetic and shameful to me.

All of a sudden, he yelled, “This is ridiculous! I have been waiting here for service for 15 minutes and no one is trying to ring me up! Where’s your manager, boy?”

I just looked at him and shrugged my shoulders. I decided not to say anything anymore because I just wanted him gone at that point, and it was nice to see that he had reached his breaking point. Then, he said, “Are you gonna answer me, boy?”

I smiled, chuckled and shrugged my shoulders again. He was really angry that I wasn’t answering his questions, and he ended up just going to the kitchen. He demanded that someone ring him up. My co-worker Mark was coming up to the register, but then he saw me. Then, he said, “Oh, Isaiah can ring you up, sir. He can take—

The old man interrupted, “I don’t want that…that….just ring me up, will ya?”

Mark ended up ringing up all his stuff. When he was close to being done, I looked down at my headset and said, “Oh my headset isn’t on. That’s why you guys couldn’t hear me.”

I started laughing, but the old man was fuming. After Mark was done bagging his things, the old man snatched his bag. He looked at me and said, “I’m never coming back here as long as you’re here.”

Before I could say anything, he stormed out of Sheetz. I laughed at him, and Mark asked me how come he didn’t want me to ring him up. I said, “I don’t know, man. I don’t know.”

Sadly, I guess some things are hard to let go of in this world.

This is the end of the short story “Another Petty-ish Moment.”

Be sure to like, share and comment your thoughts on this short story.

Next week, I will be posting and sharing parts one and two of the six-part horror story “The White Mask.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

Shawna-Mama

For years, you have been such a blessing to me.

I’m so thankful and blessed to have you in my heart for so long.

I’ll always love your random hugs and kisses you give me.

They’re just right, and they’re the most natural.

They just mean so much to me.

They uplift me, and they let me know that I am good enough for you.

 

Sometimes it’s easy to talk to you, while other times are a struggle.

It just depends on the topic.

We argue and fight like crazy, but we also laugh and talk like crazy.

There are days that I don’t understand you, but there are days that we are in sync.

We have our good and bad days, but I know we have better days ahead of us.

We can be inconsistent, but our love for each other will always be consistent.

 

I want to protect you from this world.

I don’t want it to burn out the bright light you have in your heart.

I pray that you’re strong enough to fight this world.

I pray that you find happiness.

I pray that you discover success in the most unimaginable places.

I pray that you accomplish all your goals in life.

I pray that we will always be close.

 

You’re gonna be so amazing in this world.

There’s no reason for me to worry about you at all.

It’s been such an honor being your big brother.

You taught me so much as a big brother, and I don’t know how to repay you.

I can probably repay you with some Flamin’ Hot Fries.

There’s so much time that we have together, and I’m excited for our journey together.

You’re my sister that I’ll always hold onto.

I love you so much, Shawna-Mama.

 

This is the end of the poem “Shawna-Mama.”

Be sure to like, share and comment your thoughts on this poem dedicated to my little sister Shawna. I love you so much Shawna-mama and hope you have a great birthday Oct. 1. It’s been such an amazing experience being your big brother, and I can’t wait to see where life takes as you’re getting older.

This week, I will be posting and sharing two short stories. On Tuesday, I will be sharing and posting the short story “Another Petty-ish Moment.” On Thursday, I will be sharing and posting the short story “Preferences: Part Two.”

Next week, I will finally be posting and sharing the six-part horror story “The White Mask” in the Dark Colors series.

 

 

 

Lost and Forgotten

I wish that I could be better.

I pray every day to be better.

I wonder what’s taking God so long.

Why doesn’t He want to help me right now?

Why does He have to be so quiet, while everything around me is so loud and clear?

 

I guess it takes patience and time with God.

Also, what am I expecting Him to do?

To just magically make my troubles go away?

I don’t think it works like that.

I wish more than anything that it did though.

It would be so much easier for me.

 

God, I’m sorry that I’m struggling right now.

God, I’m sorry that I can’t lift the weight off my shoulders.

God, I’m sorry that I can only do so much.

God, I’m sorry that my spirit is weak.

God, I’m sorry for who I am right now.

 

How could be going through this right now?

Now’s not a good time.

I’m broken, and I’m in desperate need of healing.

 

I can’t let people help me, especially those close to me.

They can’t see this side of me.

It’s shameful and disgusting.

I’m supposed to be this perfect image for them.

I have to be, otherwise who am I?

I’ll just hide the pain, the struggling and the hurt I’m feeling.

I’ll just pretend I’m fine because it’s the best thing to do for everyone.

I have to think about others, before I think about myself.

 

I want to be better, but I don’t think it’s possible.

I think I got a long, grueling road ahead of me.

Can I make it to the end of it?

I don’t know.

I hope I can, but I don’t think that’s enough.

Will God help me a little more?

I don’t know.

It just feels like I’m lost and forgotten.

 

This is the end of the poem “Lost and Forgotten.”

Be sure to like, share and comment your thoughts on this poem.

This weekend, I will be sharing and posting poetry dedicated to my little sister Shawna in honor of her birthday October 1.