I remember the first day that we met,

You were lost and asking for directions to a formal event,

You were attending alone,

It was the same that I was going to as well,

And I was also attending alone. 

You were a sight to behold,

You wore a beautiful red dress that traced your silhouette effortlessly,

Lipstick the perfect shade of bold, 

Long black hair resting gently on your shoulder.

Light brown eyes that caught mine,

And refused to let go. 

We would walk together to the event,

We stayed almost instinctively close to each other,

We laughed like we had known each other longer than a night,

The connection between us was pure and easy,

It felt right to be with you, 

To guide you to the event. 

When we made it to the event,

I thought we would go our separate ways, 

But you wanted to be with me,

You still wanted us to be together,

You didn’t want any limitations. 

And it felt natural being with you,

I had never wanted close proximity with someone,

Never wanted to see a smile up close,

Never wanted to memorize every detail about a person, 

Could you be something more to me?

Could you be my opportunity to experience real love? 

Could the possibilities be endless for us? 

We were close after the event,

And you wanted us to be closer that night,

Closer than conversation, 

Closer than laughter,

But I hesitated, 

Because I knew crossing that line, 

Would mean I could never return to who I was before. 

So I went home and pretended restraint was strength,

But my imagination betrayed me, 

I pictured staying with you all night,

Pictured the red dress falling like surrender,

Pictured us closing the space that we pretended not to feel. 

We kept growing closer, 

Learning each other’s fears and dreams, 

You had me all to yourself,

I skipped obligations,

Let responsibilities blur, 

Bent pieces of myself, 

Just to fit into your world. 

I wanted you to be the one, 

The one I crossed the line for, 

The one I learned love with for the first time,

But then you shook my world,

With a confession that would change everything. 

Someone else already had your heart. 

You were committed and anchored somewhere else, 

But you still wanted me, 

You told me I could have a place too, 

Just not the whole place. 

There would be boundaries.

There would be limits.

And that’s when the real battle began,

Things were now different and apparent,

Every time I moved closer,

I felt the invisible wall. 

Every laugh was followed by restraint

Every touch carried hesitation,

Every hope came with a disclaimer. 

I was fighting to claim space,

In a heart that was already occupied, 

But I told myself love is complex,

Love isn’t always clean,

Maybe real love has its limits.  

But deep down I wanted something more,

I wanted something reckless and whole,

I wanted something with no rules,

I did not want borrowed time,

Nor did I want shared devotion,

I wanted love without footnotes,

Without conditions or margins,

And you could not give that to me, 

So I had to let you go. 

But I wonder now, 

Was I foolish to walk away? 

Should I have accepted the space you offered me? 

Should I have learned to love in the margins?