Tag: Death

I Whispered His Name to Death

I remember the first time I saw him, 

He was arrogant and loud,

He still is to this day, 

He is a man swollen with a twisted belief,

That nothing in this world stood above him. 

The rules bend around him like frightened servants.

He is a true menace in plain sight. 

Yet everyone adored him, 

They worshipped the man who never loses, 

The man who lives for the race, 

The man who runs, 

As if Death itself could never catch him.

But I saw the truth in him, 

He is a thief wearing a crown    

And then there was her, 

The girl I loved in silence for a year, 

From the shadows, 

From the corners where my eyes could linger, 

Without ever being seen.

She was perfect. 

Too perfect for the world that surrounded her. 

Her smile was soft, 

Like something sacred only meant for me.

She was supposed to be mine, 

And he noticed me staring at her. 

He looked at her, 

Then at me, 

And asked if she’s mine. 

I froze. 

Just for a moment. 

A single moment too long, 

And that was all he needed.

He walked over to her, 

As if she were a prize, 

Waiting to be claimed. 

He made her laugh in ways

I had rehearsed a thousand times in my head. 

Her smile widened for him, 

Her voice was soft and gentle, 

Sweet enough to haunt my dreams. 

Her body leaned toward him, 

And his hand rested against her arm,

Like it had always belonged there. 

She was supposed to be mine, 

And he stole her from me, 

Like it was nothing to him, 

Like taking a coin from a beggar’s hand. 

So I confronted him. 

I demanded what was mine,

And he laughed, 

Laughed like I was a joke

God forgot to finish writing. 

Then he offered me a race for her. 

He would even give me a head start. 

He asked with a wicked smile, 

“How badly do you want her?” 

He knew. 

He knew I couldn’t beat him. 

But I ran anyway. 

Because she was watching. 

Surely she would see the truth. 

Surely she would see that he was a monster.

A man who didn’t deserve her. 

A man who would treat her like another trophy, 

To hang on his wall.

I looked back,

And saw her clinging to him, 

Looking at him like he was a god. 

Why couldn’t she see what I see? 

I ran, 

I ran until my lungs burned, 

Slowed down a little, 

Not even sure if I was close to the finish line,

I had to look back, 

Not understanding her devotion, 

To her new god she just met. 

As I was looking back, 

He started running, 

And he was already past me, 

Eyes locked on the finish line, 

Not even acknowledging me. 

What happened to my head start? 

He won. 

Of course he won. 

Years passed. 

He never stops running, 

He never stops flaunting her in my face, 

She has his children now. 

He doesn’t care about her,

The way I do, 

He doesn’t love her, 

The way I do, 

He stole her from me, 

Because it amused him. 

Because it was a game to him. 

I hate him. 

I hate him in ways that poison the blood. 

Every breath I take tastes like him. 

Every night his laughter crawls through my skull. 

I cannot outrun him. 

I cannot beat him. 

But there is one thing that can. 

I whisper his name to Death. 

Softly. 

Over and over again. 

Like a prayer spoken in the dark. 

Death listens.

Death is patient. 

Death waits for the right door. 

And when Death finally knocks on his door, 

I will be waiting. 

Take him. 

Break him. 

Make him feel the terror, 

Of being chased.

Let him run, 

Until his legs shatter, 

Until his lungs drown in fear.

Make him understand what it feels like to lose. 

I would gladly give my life, 

For that moment. 

Take my breath. 

Take my soul. 

Take every second I have left. 

Just for a chance,

For him to see Death. 

A Little Race with Death

People have said that I’ve gone mad,

But they don’t understand,

I have always needed something to outrun. 

I’m obsessed with racing the very best. 

Obsessed with tasting victory like it’s rum,

Letting it burn my throat,

Letting it scorch my insides. 

Winning is a flavor I savor slowly. 

I roll it across my tongue,

And swallow it whole. 

It is sweeter than candy,

Sweeter than love,

Sweeter than prayer, 

I refuse to let go of its taste, 

It’s irresistible and delicious.

I refuse to lose, 

And I don’t care what I have to lose. 

Or who.

Winning is the only god I bow to. 

The only altar I kneel at. 

The only voice I obey.

No one can beat me. 

No one ever has. 

No one ever will. 

Death comes knocking at my door one evening. 

Not gently. 

It says my time has expired, 

And my body belongs to it.

My wife collapses at my feet,

Crying, begging, praying

My children cling to her like loose fabric in a storm.

Their fear irritates me. 

Death just stands in the doorway,

Tall and patient, 

Certain it has won. 

I feel it creeping into my lungs,

Freezing them from the inside out. 

And my legs tremble, 

For the first time in my life, 

I feel slow. 

So I make a proposal, 

A race. 

I tell Death I will run for my life. 

That I had beaten better opponents than it. 

Death laughs, 

And whispers I’m already halfway gone,

My life alone is not enough of a wager 

I smile, 

And tell Death if I lose the race, 

It can have me, my wife and my children, 

Death pauses,

Saying it’s not their time,

I shrug and respond I’ll make it their time.

My wife gasps, 

And says my name like she doesn’t recognize me. 

I don’t look at her or my children,

Winning requires sacrifice. 

Death laughs harder than before, 

At her horror. 

At my devotion.

And decides to accept my challenge. 

Death offers me time to prepare, 

But I refuse,

Because I never needed time. 

Only a finish line.

The race begins without warning,

No starting pistol or countdown. 

Just my heart trying to abandon me. 

Death moves like smoke beside me, 

Effortless. 

Unbothered by me. 

The ground beneath us fractures into shadow. 

Each step feels stolen from eternity. 

My lungs collapse inward. 

Blood fills my mouth. 

My vision splinters at the edges, 

And Death pulls ahead. 

Its fingers brushes my shoulder, 

Cold. 

Certain it had won. 

But I lean, 

I lean like I’ve never leaned before, 

And I cross first. 

There is silence. 

Death stands at the line,

Defeated. 

Studying me. 

Bewildered that I have bested it. 

Death admits I have won.   

I collapse. 

Gasping for air. 

But I am alive. 

My wife rushes to me. 

My children sob against my body. 

Their hands tremble with relief. 

I push them away. 

Their touch feels small, 

And means nothing to me. 

I am staring at Death. 

At the thing that had never been beaten. 

And I had beaten it. 

The rush floods me, 

Hotter than blood, 

Sharper than oxygen, 

I stand slowly,

And ask for one more little race

Death tilts its head. 

I explain that one victory proves nothing.

My wife begs me to stop. 

Calls it a miracle that I won. 

But it wasn’t a miracle. 

This was proof.

Proof that I was faster than the inevitable. 

Stronger than the grave.

Better than the end. 

I demand for Death to race me again. 

Death studies me longer this time. 

And says that I barely survived, 

I grinned, 

Then I barely needed to win. 

The sky darkened.

Death began to fade. 

And say that I cannot outrun it forever. 

I laugh. 

And respond I don’t need forever. 

I only need to beat it again and again. 

My wife whispers that I’m scaring her, 

And I finally look at her, 

And realize something important.

When I crossed that finish line, 

I felt more alive than I ever had holding her. 

More complete than the day our children were born. 

Because they were never my greatest achievement. 

Winning was. 

Death starts to disappear. 

I call out to Death,

It pauses. 

Death feels something new with me. 

Not fear. 

Hunger. 

I let Death know that I’ll find it. 

The room feels colder.  

I’ll chase illness. 

I’ll chase war.

I’ll even chase rooftops and speeding cars. 

Just so I can put myself in Death’s path, 

Until it has no choice. 

My wife starts crying. 

Death watches her, 

Then looks back at me. 

For the first time, 

It smiles at me. 

It whispers that it’s looking forward to it. 

Then Death vanishes. 

I step outside, 

And begin running. 

Running away from my family, 

And running towards Death, 

Because now I understand something. 

It isn’t life I’m trying to preserve.

It’s victory.

A high that rushes my veins, 

And has me eager for more, 

And there may come a day, 

When Death finally wins, 

But it won’t be because I slowed down. 

It will be because I asked for one last race, 

Just a little race with Death. 

Why Are You Gone?

It hurts to see you like this,

You’re just here and not really present,

Alive but no longer there inside,

Just an empty shell,

I just miss you so much,

And it’s hard to be around you now,

I wish I could have you back,

It would be nice to have our usual talks again,

Write letters to each other again,

Listen to jazz again,

Why can’t I have those good times again?

Why can’t you come back?

Why is life much more grey without you?

Why are you gone?

Dream Girls: Part Twelve

I find myself in a white bath tub,

The water is running,

And the tub is only half full with water,

The water is clear,

There’s steam all around,

And I can barely see anything,

But I can tell that I’m in a bathroom,

How did I get here?

Why am I here in the first place?


I try to get out of the bath tub,

But I’m struggling to get out for some reason,

I’m actually in a little bit of pain,

I look down,

And I’m shocked to see the water is no longer clear,

It’s becoming a little red,

I’m horrified that it’s due to the blood from my own body,

My heart starts beating faster,

How did this wound suddenly appear?

How did I get stabbed in the stomach?



The water is still running,

I have to stop it from overflowing the tub.

But before I can do anything,

I hear a door slowly open,

I turn to my right,

And I see only darkness through the doorway,

No light whatsoever.


A shadow figure enters the bathroom,

It looks like it’s a woman,

But I can’t tell right away.

The pain starts to intensify,

But it feels strangely familiar.


Water and my blood overflows the bathtub,

And pour right on the floor,

It’s getting harder to breathe,

It’s getting harder to stay alive,

Death is near and very close to me.


The dark figure comes behind me,

And submerges me deep into the tub,

Water fills my lungs,

And takes over my body,

I’m drowning with no way to escape,

She has me pinned down,

I will be dead soon,

Everything turns black.

Dream Girls: Part Eleven

I’m losing a lot of blood,

I’m laying in a pool of my own blood,

I can’t see anything around me,

My vision is blurred,

Death is knocking on my door,

And there’s nothing I can do about it.

I’m trying to find the strength to move,

I’m trying to crawl somewhere to safety,

Because something tells me that I’m not safe.

Danger is around the corner,

Just waiting to pounce and take my life away.


I’m fearing for my life,

But I don’t remember how I got here?

Did I do something to deserve this cruel fate?

Or was I just in the wrong place at the wrong time?

I’m in desperate need for answers,

But I need to survive and escape this current unfortunate situation.

How did I get to this point?

How can I not remember?

I’m looking down at my body,

And I discover that I was stabbed three times.

Two stabs on my side,

And one stab in my stomach.

There’s no way I can move right now,

Even if I wanted to,

I would lose too much blood,

I’ve already lost too much blood anyways,

My fate has already been sealed,

All I can do is accept death with open arms.


I hear a door suddenly open behind me,

It sounds like someone in heels are walking towards me,

And I instantly remember everything.

My heart starts beating faster and faster,

And my vision is now slowing starting to fade away completely.


A dark figure stands above me,

With a bloody knife in her right hand

Although my vision is fading away,

I know who it is that’s trying to end my life,

She’s truly dark and evil,

She slowly gets on top of me,

Reaches for something in her left pocket,

I already know what she’s bringing out,

They’re the red, shattered sunglasses.

She places the red, shattered sunglasses on my face

And gets ready to plunge her knife into my chest.

Everything turns black.

Remembering the Good Times

I’m missing you a lot today,

I’m remembering the last time I saw you,

And it wasn’t the best experience,

You were unrecognizable,

You were breaking my heart,

You were a broken, confused version of yourself,

But it wasn’t your fault,

It was a cruel disease that murdered your sweet mind.

It was such a shame.

You had such a beautiful mind and heart,

And you were always willing to share it with me.

You shared love, wisdom and strength to me.

It was hard watching you disappear.



It’s hard not to think about you at your lowest,

But I’m trying my best to remember you at your best.

I’m trying to forget about the bad times,

I’m trying to remember the good times.

Dying Too Soon

I fear that death is around the corner, but you try to assure me that I’ll be fine

Can I really trust you?

I’m not sure anymore.

Madness is creeping over my shoulders.

Darkness is facing me with a smile on its face.

Where are you at though?

Thou is everywhere, but thou is nowhere in my sight.

 

Maybe I’m too lost in my own thoughts.

Maybe my mind is playing evil tricks on me that I know not of.

Then again, how close am I to death?

Can you give me an answer?

Or is your silence the only answer you can give me right now?

 

I’m in a place that I don’t even recognize.

It’s a place that I never expected to be in but I knew of it.

How did I end up here?

I thought I did everything right, but I was wrong.

I didn’t do enough for you or even myself.

Now, my regrets torture and plague my dying soul.

 

I need you right now, but you’re still silent.

Death has me in my grasp, but you remain silent.

The footsteps of death itself are deafening.

There’s nowhere else for me to go.

All I can do is wait for death to introduce itself to me.

 

Please don’t let me die right now.

I’m not ready for what comes after.

You know that, right?

You have to know that.

Please, I need you right now.

Give me a chance to make things right in this world

Please, you have to understand.

I am dying too soon.