I often find myself thinking about you on random days.

In fact, I was just thinking about you today on me and my mom’s birthday.

I miss you a lot and wish that I could hear your voice again.

It was so distinct and beautiful.

I remember the laughs and smiles that we shared together.

I remember listening with ease to music that would move my soul with you.

Now, I struggle to listen to our music on my own.

It’s just not the same without you.

It just brings me nothing but heartache.

It’s hard living without you.

You were a constant fire in my life that I’m missing so much.

Can God bring you back to life?

It would mean so much to me.

No, I shouldn’t wish and pray for such a thing.

I always saw you as a good and faithful servant.

You were always living proof of the power of faith.

You deserve to be rewarded and favored by God.

You deserve to be in Heaven.

I want to talk to you about my mom.

I know that you would be proud of her.

She has helped me grow in ways that I could never imagine.

Since the beginning of my life, she has shown me unconditional love.

She made sure that I wouldn’t end up being another statistic.

Her unselfishness and kindness rubbed off on me.

She’s helped me with my struggles and helped me to my successes.

I can’t imagine the person I would be right now without her.

God truly blessed me with an angel.

You know I love my mom so much.

You know words can’t describe all that she’s done for me.

You know she’s been my rock my whole life.

You know she’s responsible for making me the person that I am today.

You know that she has my back.

You know all these things and more.

I love you so much.

It seems like we didn’t have enough time together.

I wish that I could turn back the clock and be with you.

But I want you to know that I’m good.

I’m stronger and wiser than ever before.

All thanks go to God for providing and blessing me with my mom.

My other fire.

I can’t thank you enough for everything you’ve done for me.
You’ve helped me in ways that I could never imagine.
You inspired me to chase after my aspirations and to let go of my distractions.
You helped my imagination meet reality in this world.
I can’t imagine my life without you.

You’ve been with me my whole life and never left my side.
Thank you for that.
Thank you for making sure that I was well-nourished and well-rested.
Thank you for loving me when you weren’t expecting me.
Thank you for seeing me as a gift, instead of an accident.
Thank you for seeing me as a blessing, instead of a burden.
Thank you for the hugs and kisses.
Thank you for the smiles and laughs.
Thank you for making sure that I didn’t end up being a statistic.
Thank you for making sure that I didn’t end up being an addict.
Thank you for having God in my life.
Thank you for showing me the true meaning of love.
Thank you for everything and so much more.

I thank God that I have you in my life.
God truly knew what he was doing for the both of us.
He knew that you were going to be one of the best things in my life.
I love you with all my heart, mom.
Thank you for having a mother’s touch.

Hey y’all, I’m coming to you with the epic conclusion of “The Philadelphia Girl: Part Four.” Just to recap, I freaked out about saying I’m gonna lay the mack down on my mystery girl because I remember that I’m a terrible texter. However, I decided to remain calm, cool and collect for Mike’s sake and to give him confidence to text his long-time crush. My text game was miraculously on point with Maria, and Mike ended up getting a response from his crush. It was a happy time for both me and Mike on Brian’s birthday. The next day, a Saturday, I was still texting Maria and getting to know her a little more. There was a connection with her, but she dropped a bombshell on me. She informed me that she was from Philadelphia and just visiting her best friend. She was planning on leaving Monday. I’m devastated by the news and can’t believe that our love story had to be cut short. Then, my friends convinced me to try to meet up with her, after all we had two days together. I asked Maria if she wanted to hang out, and she naturally wanted to see me. We tried to meet on Sunday, but I wasn’t able to meet up with her that day. Luckily, we rescheduled and agreed to meet at Lotsa in Oakland on Monday, the day she was leaving Pittsburgh. On Monday, I headed to Oakland and went to Lotsa to see my sweet Maria before she departed to Philadelphia.

The unexpected happened with Maria, the Philadelphia Girl, and I can’t help but think about what could’ve been had I made a certain choice that day. What was the choice that I faced with Maria? Well, let’s find out in “The Philadelphia Girl: Part Four.”

For whatever reason, I was struggling to find Lotsa. I parked my car and everything, but I was just walking around in circles. I could not find the restaurant that I was seeking in Oakland. It was a struggle for me. After 12 minutes of walking aimlessly, I received a text message from Maria about if I got lost. I explained that I was minute away, but I somehow ended up being five minutes away from the restaurant. I was near Five Guys. Maria told me that I was close and texted me that her friend was gonna wait for me outside, and she would be wearing an orange shirt. A few minutes later, I saw a pretty redhead in an orange shirt. As I approached her, she recognized me and quickly embraced me. She was laughing and wondering about how I got lost, and I told her that it was complicated. She laughed and told me that her name was Ashley. She apologized for hugging me so abruptly and explained that she was a hugger. I told her that it was fine, and she proceeded in giving me another hug. Then, Ashley said, “You know, I already like you. You get two points for that. Let’s go inside and meet up with Maria.”

It wasn’t crowded at all at Lotsa. It was just a few people, and I was instantly able to see Maria sitting down. She was looking absolutely stunning. When she saw me, Maria instantly got out of her chair and came running towards me. We hugged, and it just felt good seeing Maria in person for the first time.

As I was sitting down at their table, Ashley smiled and said, “Aww you’re a really great hugger, Isaiah. You get three points for that.”

I was confused with the points by Ashley, and I wanted to ask her about that. Before I could, Ashley tells me to make sure I go and get something to eat first. I couldn’t object because I was hungry, and I was desperate for some food. So, I created my personalized pizza and came back to the table. As I was eating my pizza, Ashley asked me what sort of toppings did I have on my pizza. I showed her my toppings, and she approved and gave me one point. I asked Ashley about the points, and she responded, “That’s for me and Maria to know, and you to maybe find out. All you need to know is that you need at least 18 points.”

I was confused and didn’t understand the point of the points. Anyways, I found out how Maria saw me and how Ashley got the note to come my way. Maria explained that they were finishing eating at Burgatory, when she saw me coming through the door. Maria motioned Ashley to look at me, and she approved of my cuteness and sexiness. It was Ashley’s idea to get the note to me as they were walking out of the restaurant. My friends and I ended up seated next to them. As soon as we were seated, Ashley and Maria decided to leave the restaurant. Then, it would be Ashley that would slip me the note on their way out.

I laughed as Maria and Ashley told their side of the story to me, and I shared how my friend Mike and I were searching high and low for them in the restaurant. It was our mission to find them. Then, I added how Mike was inspired by me to text and receive a response from his crush. They asked me about my friend Brian, and I responded that he was high and had no clue of what was going on. They laughed about my friends being fun and funny, and Ashley gave me four points for being a true friend.

We started just having fun, silly conversations with each other. We were talking about crazy college experiences we had, among other things. Ashley was telling me some interesting things about the relationship she had with Maria. She was telling me how sharing is important to them, and I said that sharing is caring. Ashley was happy about my approval of them sharing and gave me five points for my response. Also, Ashley told me that they like to have wild, crazy times together and there were no limits with them. I responded, “Okay, that’s what’s up. Life’s too short to be all boring and safe with everything.”

Maria smiled at me, and Ashley gave me three points for my response. “Awesome! You got 18 points. Now, let’s get out of here and go back to my place.”

As were walking towards Ashley’s place, I found myself wondering what were the points for exactly? I needed this information.

When we made it to Ashley’s place, I noticed that there were a lot of boxes of things in the house. She explained that she was moving to Florida and going to school down there. She was excited about going to Florida and could not wait to go down there because it was her dream location.

Anyways, we were all hanging out and talking, when Maria decided that it was time for us to help her start packing her things. It wasn’t a lot of things. She just had two suitcases, three big bags and two coolers to put in her car. When we were done helping Maria gather our things, we went right back to just chilling and relaxing. Then, it got a little weird. I noticed that Maria and Ashley were giving each other looks, and I asked them if everything was okay. Maria assured me that everything was fine. All of a sudden, they went upstairs and left me alone downstair. It was quiet for a few minutes, and then Ashley yelled if I could bring her phone to her upstairs. I grabbed it and then she yelled, “Can you open my phone real quick and see if I have any messages?”

She told me her pin, and I opened her phone and found my mouth wide open. My mouth was wide open because I found myself presented with a collage of Maria and Ashley kissing each other. So, I quickly realized that they were trying to have a threesome with me. It all made sense to me now. The points were to mesure if I was good enough to come to their place and have sex with them. Also, Ashley talked about her and Maria being wild and wanting to share. The hugs were to get a feel for me. Plus, they’re both leaving Pittsburgh soon, and it made sense to me that they wanted to have a last hurrah together before they go their separate ways.

I didn’t know what to do. I was confused and shocked. Should I go upstairs and find out what’s waiting for me? Or should I avoid it?

I started thinking to myself that maybe I was wrong and misinterpreted things. I mean, some people just happen to casually leave out some interesting photography. Maybe the pictures meant absolutely nothing, but I didn’t want to find out. I needed to just leave, I thought to myself. I didn’t want to do anything that I would regret, especially with two girls that were gonna be out of my life just like that. Plus, it would be my first time, and I probably wouldn’t last long. It would just be embarrassing for me and disappointing to Ashley and Maria. Also, I didn’t want my first time to be considered meaningless sex with two girls. I want my first time to be meaningful and with my future wife. So, I stayed downstairs and acted like I couldn’t find the phone. Maria and Ashley came downstairs and found the phone. Before anything else could happen, I told them that I had to leave. They wanted me to stay a little longer, but I think that Maria could tell that I wasn’t trying to get with them. So, she added, “You know, I think I need to head out too. It is getting kind of dark, and I have a long drive ahead of me.”

So, we all said our goodbyes to each other. We gave each other hugs and went our separate ways. Maria and I tried to continue texting and Snapping each other, but we ended up just drifting apart.

I have no regrets for how I decided to handle everything with Ashley and Maria. At the end of it all, I’m grateful for the fun adventure that I experienced with Maria, the Philadelphia Girl.

This marks the end of “The Philadelphia Girl: Part Four.”

Thank you for following the four-part series “The Philadelphia Girl.” Be sure to like, share and comment your thoughts on this love story.

Next week, I will be posting poetry on Tuesday and Thursday.

Just to recap, I was surprised by the note that came my way at Burgatory. I thought the note was for Mike or Brian because they were dressed way better than me. I show the note to Mike and Brian, and Mike and I were trying to find out where the girl could have possibly gone. We tried seeing if Brian knew which way the girl went because he was facing my direction, but he was too high to remember. Mike and I end up being on an impossible mission to pinpoint the location of the two girls. I ended up texting the number on the note to try and figure out which one of us did the girl think was cute because we were confused. It was revealed that it was for me, the guy with the black shirt and buzzed head. Naturally, I was feeling myself and realizing that I was a nice, caramel snack to this girl. Sadly, we found out that she and her friend were in South Oakland and Brian all of a sudden remembered this at the worst possible time. Mike asked me what I was going to do, and I told him that I was going to lay the mack down on her. Now, it’s time to dive on in to “The Philadelphia Girl: Part Three.”

Mike was excited to hear that I was about to lay the mack down on her, while Brian was pretty chill. Honestly, I don’t know why I said such foolish words because I knew that my text game was wack. To this day, I ironically consider myself to be a terrible texter, but that’s another story. Anyways, I was thinking to myself that I am not about to wow this mysterious girl with my texting. It just wasn’t going to happen.

Before I could retract my statement, Mike looked at me and said, “You know, Isaiah. I’m inspired by you. You’re unbelievable. You know what, I’m about to text this girl that I’ve had a crush on for years. You inspired me to do this, man.”

When Mike said this, I realized that I can’t just take back what I said. I inspired Mike to text his long-time crush.  I must do what I said I was going to do for Mike. Mike needed me to spit some game at this girl that wanted me. Mike needed me to show that there was nothing wrong with being confident. Mike needed me to provide him the strength to chase after the girl of his dreams, possibly his future wife. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. No weapon formed against me shall prosper. Victory shall be mine. Yes, the scripture was flowing through me as God knew that this was an important, legendary moment. I will not fail, I will succeed and deliver for Mike.

I started texting her, and I found out that her name was Maria. I immediately told her that it was a pretty name, but I needed a picture of her. I needed to know that she visually represented the name that she was given by her parents. Plus, she saw me, but I didn’t see her. So, I naturally and seductively asked if she could send me a pic of herself. Not even a minute later, she sent me a pic. It was like she had it prepared and ready for my viewing pleasure, and all I had to do was ask. It was a nice, classy, sexy picture of her that really left room for the imagination. She was really pretty and wholesome. I showed the picture to Mike and Brian, and I instantly had their approval. I told her that she was really pretty, and I liked what I saw. She gave me some emojis and thanked me for the compliment.

As we’re all finishing up our food and I was sweet talking Maria, Mike received a message from his long-time crush. He exclaimed that his crush texted him back, and we all celebrated. It was a proud, celebratory time for Mike as he received a text from his crush. There was so much high-fiving and cheers, and we were just ridiculously loud at Burgatory.

Once we all calmed down, Mike and I turned to Brian. He asked us what was wrong, and I said, “Well, what you about to do? Mike and I are doing our things with our girls, where you at? It’s your turn to sweet talk a pretty mamacita.”

Mike agreed and told Brian to do his thing now. Then, Brian said, “I’m just chilling, for real, for real.”

We all ended up laughing and continued enjoying each other’s company at Burgatory. We ended up leaving Burgatory and just walking a little in Waterfront. Then, we all went our separate ways. I ended up driving Brian home, while he was still high as a kite. I got home and continued to text the sweet Maria.

On Saturday, I’m still texting and wooing Maria miraculously. I remember we ended up talking about our goals, dreams and pretty much finding out more about each other. We also added each other on Snapchat having fun and silly conversations about horror movies being better than romantic comedies, bugs, dogs, terrible TV shows and other random things. I was feeling pretty good with Maria. It felt natural just texting and snapping her. I don’t know why I was just this amazing texter with her all of sudden, it was a miracle. Was God telling me that she was the girl for me? Suddenly, she threw a bombshell at me. She told me that she was coming from Philadelphia, and she was just visiting her best friend. Then, she told me that she was planning on leaving Monday.

This broke my heart because our love story had just begun. It hadn’t even blossomed yet. How could it end just like that? I thought she was the one for me after our one night and one day of texting each other. We had this unspoken connection to each other. She was my soul mate. I was thinking that maybe we could have a long distance, but I ain’t got time for that. It wasn’t going to work out between us, I could see it as clear as day.  We had to let each other go.

I told my friends the bitter sad news, and they were like I should still try to meet up with her. It wouldn’t be too late. We had two days together. Our love story had the potential to be stronger than Jack and Rose’s romance in Titanic, we just had to find each other.

So, I asked Maria if we could meet up with each other, and she naturally wanted to see me. The plan was for us to hang out Sunday, but for some reason I wasn’t able to meet up with Maria and her friend that day. Something came up. However, I was still determined to see Maria. I wondered if I could see her on Monday, and she agreed for us to meet tomorrow at 3-3:30 for lunch in Oakland.

On Monday, I worked 6:00 a.m.-2:00 p.m. at Sheetz. I texted and asked Maria where we were having lunch at, and she told me Lotsa. So, I headed to Oakland, parked my car and headed towards Lotsa to see my sweet Maria before she departed to Philadelphia.

This is the end of “The Philadelphia Girl: Part Three.”

Thank you for reading “The Philadelphia Girl: Part Three.” Be sure to like, share and comment your thoughts on this story.

This is a four-part story, and I will be sharing the fourth and final part of “The Philadelphia Girl” on Thursday.

Just to recap, I get a text message from my friend Brian to hang out with him on his birthday. I technically forget his birthday, but I let him know that I can hang out with him on his birthday. I pick him up late and immediately notice that he is high. On our way to Burgatory at Waterfront, we talk about a girl that he’s been interested in for months. Then, we arrive at Burgatory to meet up with Brian’s longtime friend Mike. After a 15-minute wait, we all go inside and get seated at our table. Then, a girl places a folded piece of paper next to me, when I’m not looking. I open and it reads, “My friend thinks you’re cute.” The statement was followed by a phone number and x’s and o’s. Now, it’s time to get into part two of “The Philadelphia Girl.”

When I see the note, I can’t believe it. I wasn’t expecting such a note to come my way because I wasn’t really looking my best. I mean, I had gotten a haircut and my beard was trimmed, but I wasn’t dressed to impress. I was just wearing a black shirt, my necklace and some shorts, so I knew that I wasn’t dripping in finesse. If anything, I was dripping in laziness. Then, I looked at Brian and Mike, and they were dressed way better than me. I started thinking to myself that maybe this note was meant for one of them because it made more sense. Or maybe it was for me. I just had to find out.

I show the note to Mike and Brian, and Mike was immediately excited. Brian was just all giggles and in his own little world. Mike asked me what happened, and I explained that a girl just came from behind me and slipped this note next to me. Then, he asked me if I knew which way she went. I replied, “Nah man, she was gone when I turned around. I didn’t see which direction she went.”

Mike started looking around and thought that they had to be close by us. I agree with Mike as we’re trying calculate and find out where they could be. We looked at different tables in the restaurant, but we can’t be sure where they could be. My head started to hurt from the complex math we were trying to figure out in our heads, so we took a break. Then, our attention went to Brian. We though to ourselves that Brian must’ve seen which direction the girl went because he’s seated right in front of me. He’s been facing me the whole time, so he had to of seen which way the girl went. Surely, Brian would remember which way the girl went. Surely, Brian would answer our prayers for the two girls. Surely, Brian would know the direction the girl who left the note went. Surely, Brian would not let us down. Sadly, Brian let us down.

He giggled, “I don’t know where that girl went, for real for real.”

Brian continued to giggle, but this wasn’t a laughing matter to me or Mike. This was a serious matter, a girl thought one of us was cute. This wasn’t a joke, and we just didn’t appreciate Brian sitting in front of us with the giggles. How could he not take this seriously? What was going on with him? Mike shook his head and asked Brian why he couldn’t recall such a simple thing. Brian replied, “Look bro, I’m sorry, but I’m high as #$%#. I’m chilling. I don’t know what’s going on right now, for real for real.”

Mike and I can’t help but laugh at Brian’s honesty. We decide to let him off the hook because we knew that he was going to be no help to us with his high self. I just couldn’t believe that Brian was too high to help me and Mike find the girls. This was a life or death situation, and Brian just had to be high on his birthday. He ought to be ashamed of himself for being high at the wrong time. Brian could’ve saved us so much time and energy trying to find the girls, but he chose to be high like the sky. Shame on him.

Anyways, Mike told me to text the number to find out who the girl was trying to talk to. At the same time, he was going to be looking around the restaurant to see who was texting as well to pinpoint the position of the girls. This was our mission. So, I put the number in my phone and saved it. Then, I texted, “Hey, which one of us do you think is cute cuz we’re confused.”

I waited for Mike to give me the signal to send the text message. He started looking around and motioned the signal to me. Once I saw the signal, I sent the message.

Not even a minute later, I receive a response.

It read, “Well, you’re all really cute but it was meant for the guy with the black shirt and buzzed head lol.”

When I saw that message, I was excited. I showed the message to Mike and Brian, and they were excited with me as well. Mike was like, “Alright man, I see you doing your thing.”

I asked Mike if he pinpointed a location, but he said that it was a negative. The target was nowhere to be found. Brian was still high with no clue of what was going on. Mike and I were still on a mission.

While we all ordered our milkshakes and food, I couldn’t help but start feeling myself. I was feeling good knowing that this girl was trying to get with all of this. She was feeling me with my black T-shirt, buzzed head and shorts. I started singing “Sexy and I Know It” in my head. I started realizing that there was something sexy about me walking into Burgatory and sitting down at the table. I was looking so pretty just sitting with my friends, she just couldn’t resist this caramel looking like a snack. Yeah, I was really feeling myself that night.

Meanwhile, Mike and I were still trying to figure out where they were at in the restaurant. It was starting to feel like mission impossible because we couldn’t find them anywhere. Mike said that he was about to go in the middle of the restaurant, tell everyone to be quiet and demand the two girls to show themselves. At first, I didn’t think he was serious, until he shouted, “Excuse me, everyone!”

Before he could finish shouting, I quickly stopped him and assured him that extreme measures were not necessary at all. I had the phone number, and I can simply ask the girl where she and her friend are at. Mike groaned, “Fine, we’ll do it your way. I just think my way will get the job done fast.”

We both laughed, and I said, “I know, I know, but let’s just be smart about this. There’s no need to make it a big thing, yet. Your plan will be plan B, okay?”

He agreed with me, so I asked the girl her name and where she was at. Well, it turned out that she was in South Oakland with her friend. Mike and I were shocked, but Brian responded, “Oh yeah, they did go out the door. My bad bro, I forgot.”

Mike and I just laughed and shook our heads. They really weren’t in this restaurant at all, and we were searching how long for them. Plus, Brian just had to be high at the worst possible time.

After we were done laughing and eating our food, Mike asked me what I was going to do. I looked at him and said, “I’m about to lay the mack down on her.”

This is the end of “The Philadelphia Girl: Part Two.”

Thank you for reading “The Philadelphia Girl: Part Two.” Be sure to like, share and comment your thoughts on this story.

This will be a four-part story, and I will be sharing part three of “The Philadelphia Girl” on Tuesday.

Last summer, I was relaxing at home and watching some episodes of Daredevil. While I was watching Daredevil, I get a text message from my friend Brian. I take a look at it, and he asks me if I’m doing anything tomorrow. I have an answer, but I don’t respond yet because I’m in the middle of watching Daredevil. After I’m done watching Daredevil, I respond that I’m working, writing, doing homework, photographing, designing, drawing and editing some things tomorrow. So, I’m pretty much going to be busy tomorrow. Then, he texts me that it’s his birthday tomorrow, and he was trying to see if I could hang out with him. I kind of remember him telling me about his birthday, but I guess I technically forgot about it.

Before you prejudge me for not remembering my friend’s birthday, it’s important to note that he never told me when his birthday was and this was my first time hearing about it. He may have told me once or twice at a random time, but you honestly have to tell people more than once when your birthday is. Also, we were still in the early stages of our friendship and still rocking a solid six months together. How well do you really know someone in six months? It’s not like you can marry someone in six months, right? That’s just crazy, no offense to my mom and stepdad for getting married in six to nine months. I love them both will all my heart, but that’s just craziness to me. I don’t know how they could do that. I need at least a good year or so before marrying someone. I need to go through all the seasons with that person. I need to go through fall, spring, summer and especially the winter with them. I need to know that they can stand the rain and the snow with me. I need to know these things, and I need more than six months to find these things out.

Anyways, I tell my friend that I can definitely hang out with him on his birthday. I ask him where he’s trying to go, and he tells me that he was thinking about going to Burgatory at Waterfront at 6:00. We had our plans set, and I had hoped to meet some of my goals before hanging out with Brian.

It’s Friday, and I had to work from 6:00 a.m.-2:00 p.m. I went home and tried to reach my goals, but it was to no avail. When it was around 6:30 p.m., Brian was wondering where I was at because I had promised to pick him up. I ended up losing track of time, and I texted him that I was on my way. I was finishing up on a poster design that I was working on for a summer graphic design class. When I finished it, I headed out and went to pick up Brian. I picked Brian up, and I wished him a happy birthday. He was happy to hear this. He gets in the car and lets me know that we’re meeting one of his friends, Mike, at Burgatory. I tell him it’s cool, and I start driving us to Burgatory.

As we were driving to Burgatory, I noticed a certain smell coming from him. I looked over at Brian and noticed that he was chill and smiling a lot. So, I ask him, “Bro, are you high?”

He was like, “Yeah man, I had to hit this blunt before you picked me up. Man, I was smoking a lot today. I don’t know how much, for real, for real.”

He started laughing, and I couldn’t help but join him in laughter.

Then, he started talking about this girl that he’s been liking for months. I know her, and I’m good friends with her. He was telling me that she’s been working a lot and didn’t seem to want to talk to him. They still had a streak on Snapchat, but it wasn’t enough for him. He wanted more from her, but I could tell that she wasn’t trying to give him what he needed. So, I tell him that maybe he should consider just being friends with her or letting her go because it didn’t sound like she was interested. However, he’s hopeful that they can work things out and be together. He still talks about how they’re connected, and how he’s never met a girl like her before. I thought to myself that it was kind of sweet that he wanted to be somewhat patient for her. At the same time though, he’s been trying to talk to this girl for months, even before she was extremely busy with her life. Sadly, it was time for him to wake up and smell the roses because they just weren’t meant to be. Nevertheless, I don’t say this to him because it’s his birthday, and I don’t want to hit him with tough love. He would have to find out for himself the hard way.

When we make it to the Waterfront, I miraculously find an open parking spot near Burgatory. Brian and I head over to Burgatory, and I get to meet Mike.

Brian introduced me to Mike, and Mike tells us that it’s just going to be a 15-minute wait. As we’re waiting to be called, Mike immediately laughs because he notices that Brian is high. Brian tells Mike that he’s been smoking a lot today, and we all just burst out laughing. Then, w start talking about DC and Marvel comics. Also, we get into Spiderman: Into the Spiderverse, Titans coming on the DC streaming service, Avengers: Infinity War and so much more. It was refreshing to talk to someone about superheroes and debating about what’s going to happen in the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU) and DC Universe.

Twenty minutes later, we end up getting a table at Burgatory. As we’re all sitting down, Mike and I are still debating Marvel topics. Brian is just high and in his own little world. Mike had his back turned at me because he had to talk Brian about something, when this girl came from behind me and placed a folded piece of paper next to me. I turned around, and she had disappeared like she was the Flash or something. I was so perplexed and confused.

I turned back around to my table, and Mike was still trying to talk to Brian. I say trying because it didn’t look like he was all there. I looked at the folded piece of paper and opened it. It read, “My friend thinks you’re cute.”

The statement was followed by a phone number and x’s and o’s.

This is the end of “The Philadelphia Girl: Part One.”

Thank you for reading “The Philadelphia Girl: Part One.” Be sure to like, share and comment your thoughts on this story.

This will be a four-part story, and I will be sharing part two of “The Philadelphia Girl” on Thursday.

I can’t get you out of my head.

Sometimes I wish you were dead to me, but I need you stay alive.

I need you like a junkie needs drugs.

I lie to myself and say you’re harmless and pure like water.

I also say that you’re a necessity and nourishment like food.

I just can’t live without you.

I can’t be without you.

You’re everything to me, but I would never say that out loud.

I know my parents wouldn’t be proud of that, let alone God.

You’re a curse to me, but also a blessing.

It’s kind of depressing.

I often find myself suppressing any way out from you because I’m scared.

I’m scared of a life that I can control.

I’m scared of having full ownership of my soul.

I’m scared of no longer living in fear.

I’m scared of leaning on God’s understanding.

I’m scared of learning how to grow without you.

I’m scared of knowing where to go without you.

I’m scared of living without you.

You kept me strong when I was weak, but I know that you’re wrong for me.

I can’t keep holding on to you.

I have to let you go, so that I can be true again and no longer live in sin.

I have to believe that God will be there for me.

However, I can’t believe it because I can’t see it.

I’m blind to salvation because of you.

You cover me with your evilness and darkness.

I’ve sadly grown accustomed to you.

How did this happen?

I want to say you forced yourself on to me, but that would be a lie.

It was curiosity.

I turned a blind eye to your insanity and welcomed your vanity.

I should’ve known your generosity would come with a cost.

Now, I’m lost with you by my side.

I shouldn’t have let my flesh be my guide.

I should have trusted in my heart.

I should have trusted in my mind.

I should have trusted in Jesus.

I should have trusted in God.

Now, I’m stuck trusting in you and your wickedness.

Now, I can’t imagine living without you.

Thank you for reading “Living Without You,” a poem in the Nightmare series. Be sure to like, share and comment your thoughts on this poem.

Next week, I will be posting part one of a four-part series titled “The Philadelphia Girl” on Tuesday. Then, I will be posting part two on Thursday.

Antwon Rose.

You had such a beautiful name.

I can’t help but think about it.

I can’t help but wonder who you were meant to be in this world.

Were you meant to blossom like a rose?

Or were you meant to wither away in this world?

I don’t know.

You were stripped the opportunity to find out for yourself like our ancestors in Africa.

They were subjected to slavery in America.

What they could’ve been, just like what you could’ve been.

Antwon Rose

What were you thinking?

Why did you run away from the cop?

Who did you think you were?

Kunta Kinte?

Why couldn’t you just be Toby for the cop?

Why did you make that fatal mistake?

Then, I remember that you were a scared, 17 year old black kid.

You weren’t thinking.

You were just afraid and didn’t want to face the consequences.

You should have been apprehended appropriately like an armed mass shooter.

Instead, you were shot and killed like an unarmed slave running from his master.

Antwon Rose.

I used to think that Pittsburgh was stronger than hate, until I read and heard comments about you.

I couldn’t believe the hate you received and the love the cop received.

There was no regard for you or your family.

There was only support for the cop that shot you like a beloved member of the KKK.

I must say.

They have the Reconstruction mentality.

They have that lynch mentality.

They have that Jim Crow mentality.

That have that sit-in-the-back-of-the-bus mentality.

For them, if you don’t follow their rules, then you deserve the hose.

You deserve the persecution.

You deserve the abuse.

Antwon Rose, you didn’t follow the cop’s rules, so your death is on you.

It’s sadly not on the cop because for others he did everything right.

He shot you because he had no other choice.

You were just too dangerous as an unarmed black kid.

He protected life and served properly as a cop.

He was true to his job as a cop.

He’s a blue, and his life matters more to us than your life, Antwon Rose.

This is the sad, sick and twisted mindset people have about you, Antwon Rose.

I wish that it could be different.

Antwon Rose.

I have a dream that you were apprehended appropriately.

I have a dream that you were not at the wrong place at the wrong time.

I have a dream that more people would mourn your death.

I have a dream that your life mattered to everyone.

I have a dream that there was unity in Pittsburgh.

I have a dream that Pittsburgh was stronger than hate.

I have a dream that the cop faced justice for his fatal mistake.

I have a dream that you were still alive.

Antwon Rose, I wish I could be hopeful about my dreams.

Sadly, my dreams are meant to be only dreams and never a reality.

Antwon Rose.

I read your poem, and I must say that you had potential.

You were meant to be something special.

Why did you have to get shot and killed like Tamir Rice and Trayvon Martin?

I wish I knew.

I’m sorry that you ended up being a statistic.

It’s just not fair.

I think about my little brother Isaac.

He’s 17, the same age as you were.

He has so much potential just like you did.

I can’t imagine if his life ended just like yours did.

It would destroy me.

I can’t imagine what your family is going through.

I hope they have the strength to move forward.

I pray they do.

Antwon Rose.

I pray that you’re in a better place.

I pray that I can be hopeful for better days.

I pray for your family.

I pray that love will outweigh hate someday in America.

I pray all these things and more, Antwon Rose.

May you rest in peace, Antwon Rose.

I will always remember your name.

Last week, I came across an interesting post on Facebook that caught my eye. It reads, “Ur still an artist if u don’t release ur work. Ur still a writer if u don’t publish a piece. art is still art even in private.” I immediately liked the post because I genuinely agreed with this post. In fact, I recall a time where I had this mentality of keeping my art private.

I remember that it was middle school when I started getting into writing. When I say getting into writing, I mean writing for fun and for myself. In high school, I started getting into poetry and seeing the beauty that it can provide for me alone. In high school, I discovered that I could be more open, honest and free in my writing. I could be alone in my own little world, and this was paradise for me. At Indiana University of Pennsylvania (IUP), I started getting into short stories, and I just loved creating new characters, plots and themes that I thought would benefit no one else but me. I remember my family and friends always wanting to read my short stories and poetry, but I was always defensive and not willing to welcome them into my world. Writing is my baby, and I have to protect it from the world.

One day, I remember that I was writing a short story on my computer, and my parents wanted to read it. Of course, I objected to them reading it. Then, they decided that they wanted to talk to me about sharing my work. They were asking me why it was so hard for me to show others what I have written. One of the things that they primarily thought was that I didn’t want to receive criticism. They thought that I couldn’t take it, but this wasn’t the case. For a second, I thought that this was the case, but I later learned that it was entirely something else. It was something that I couldn’t deny.

The truth was I didn’t want people to see a different side of me. I wanted to keep that part of me hidden to others. I write every single day, and I have nothing but love for writing. How can I just expose that to the world? How can I let the world destroy the perfect union I have with my writing? I would be alone in my own little zone. It was perfect. I just had to keep my art private.

I later realized that I needed to start sharing my work. I learned that I’m completely honest in my writing, and I shouldn’t be ashamed of that. I should be proud of my work and want to share who I am with the world, but I’m hesitant to do this. The reason is because I don’t want to be an open book for people. I don’t want people to know me. However, I knew that I needed to make the necessary steps to be okay with people getting know me through my writings.

Last year, I started the blog “The Warfield Zone.” It would be a place where I would publish all of my short stories and poetry for people’s viewing pleasure. I didn’t make it emphatically known that I had a blog to others because I still wanted to keep it a secret. I was also trying not to post too much to much on my blog because that would just expose too much of me. Later, I found that it wasn’t so bad to post. It was almost relieving and therapeutic. Months passed, and I let close friends and family know more about my blog. This year, I decided that I wanted to post regularly and let it be known to many others that I have a blog.

Also, I decided to share more of my photographs regularly as well this year because it’s a part of who I am as a storyteller, and I’m not ashamed of it.

I have learned that sharing has helped me grow as a person. It has helped my family and friends understand me in ways they never conceived. I’m thankful that people have found my writings to be entertaining and enjoyable. I’m thankful to God for giving me talents that I finally have the courage to share with the world.

For artists/writers that keep their work private, I totally understand it. You have a right to keep your work private, but I also think it’s important to explore your reasoning behind keeping it private. When I was exploring the reason I kept my work private, I learned that it was holding me back as a writer. Sharing my work has helped me reach unimaginable heights that I never knew existed. It gave me the necessary relief I needed to be a comfortable writer now. That’s my reasoning. What’s your reasoning?

Thank you for reading “Keeping My Art Private.” Be sure to like, share and comment your thoughts on this piece.

Next week, I will be posting two poems, one on Tuesday and one Thursday.

Last week, I was hanging out with my friend, Rosa, and we had an interesting conversation on girls being friendly vs. flirty

It was Saturday, and we were planning on seeing an 8:30 showing of the movie Captain Marvel at the South Side of Pittsburgh. It was around 5:00 when we were hanging out, so we decided to go to the Cheesecake Factory for some food before the movie. It was pretty crowded in there, and the hostess told us that it would be an hour wait. I immediately wanted to leave and go some other place, but Rosa wanted to wait for whatever reason. I was telling her that it was foolish to wait because we were going to be waiting for hours, but she said that we could wait. I was hungry though, and I was dying for food. I had a small breakfast and a little snack before we hung out, so I was legitimately dying of starvation. Nevertheless, I listened to her, and we ended up walking around South Side and just going through different stores. I was slowly losing calories and losing my will to survive.

Surprisingly, it was only a 45-minute wait, and Rosa rubbed it in my face that she was right about the wait not being long. I congratulated her for being right, but 45 minutes is still a long time. I’m okay waiting 15-30 minutes to eat at a restaurant, but after that 30-minute mark, you start getting hungrier than usual and time just drags. However, you can’t dwell in the past, and I’m just glad I survived that 45-minute wait. I have to thank God for keeping me alive during that time period.

Anyways, we were seated in the middle of the room, and our waitress got us some drinks and a bread basket. I asked Rosa if she wanted some bread, but she said that she was fine. I immediately attacked the bread basket like a hungry hyena. I was laughing as I was finally able to nourish my starving body back to health.

Rosa laughed at me and called me so dramatic, and I replied and cried, “I didn’t want to wait. I didn’t want to wait. I was fighting for my life, and you were killing me out here. You were killing me. I gave you 30 minutes of my life. 30 minutes, and you made me wait 45 minutes for some food. So, I’m sorry that I’m being dramatic, but you made me this way.”

We were both laughing, and I was honestly proud of the performance I gave. It does take a lot of work to be dramatic.

A couple minutes later, we ended up placing our orders. I ordered a steak and some fries, while Rosa got some shrimp. We started talking and making conversation, but then she changed the subject. She asked me if I was still friends with Blake and Steve, and I told her that I kind of was. It had been months since I talked to Blake, and I barely talk to Steve. Then, she said that she’s not friends with either of them anymore, and she ended up telling me why.

She talked about how Steve was mad at her because she didn’t text him regularly, and he felt like she didn’t care about him as a friend. Rosa was telling me how she always initiated conversation with him, and it didn’t make sense that he felt like she wasn’t treating him like a friend. She told me how he went off on her in Snapchat, and it just made her not want to deal with him. I recall this. I was talking to Steve, and he ended up sending me a screenshot of what he said to her. I looked at it, and I told him that he went a little too far with his comments. He agreed with me, and he was telling me that he got carried away and was being too brutally honest with her. I told Rosa this, and she thought his “honesty” was ridiculous.

Then, she explained the situation with Blake to me. Rosa ended up telling him that she has a boyfriend, and this came as a shock to him. Blake asked her since when, and she told him for the past few weeks. This angered him because he said he had feelings for her, but Rosa wasn’t aware of these feelings. So, Blake decided that he wanted nothing to do with Rosa.

Rosa asked me if I knew that Blake liked her, and I said, “Yeah, I knew that he liked you, but I thought that you knew, too?”

She responded, “No, I knew that Steve liked me because Blake told me, but I didn’t know that he liked me too.”

I knew that Steve and Blake liked Rosa since last year, and it was just a shock to me that Rosa didn’t know.

Anyways, she continued to talk about Steve and Blake, and she told me something interesting that Blake said to her. Blake told her that she flirts too much, and she asked me if I agreed with him. I replied, “Well, I’ll admit that you do flirt a little. I’ve seen it, and you’ve even admitted to me that you like to flirt a little from time to time. However, I think that you’re more friendly to other guys than flirtatious. It’s just that some guys think that you’re just a total flirt, and they can’t distinguish your friendliness and flirtation.”

She agreed with me, and she was asking me if she did anything wrong. I said, “No, you didn’t do anything wrong. Based on what you’re telling me, you were the one that was just honest with them. They were the ones that wanted something more from you, and they were kind of dishonest about how they truly felt about you.”

I told her that I was sorry that she lost friendships that she held dear. I looked at her, smiled and said, “Just know that you got a friend in me.”

She smiled and thanked me for always being a good friend to her. A couple minutes later, we ended up getting our food and started having different, lighter conversations together. We later went and saw Captain Marvel. After the movie, we went our separate ways.

The conversation I had with Rosa about Blake and Steve really bothered me. I started thinking about this Facebook clip my little sister Shawna showed me of a high school boy hitting a girl because she wasn’t “friendly” enough to give him her phone number, while everyone watched and let it happen. That’s scary that females just can’t say “no” to some guys. They can’t say “no” to guys that are abusive and angry. They have to be polite, and they have to give those men what they want. Otherwise, there will be consequences. We’re a society that gets offended by a Gillette commercial that pushes all men to be better and held to a higher standard, “The Best Men Can Be.” How dare Gillette tackle “toxic masculinity”? They’re making it seem like it’s all guys, it’s just a few. Why do we have to address it? It’s disrespectful for Gillette to tell us how to be appropriate boys, let us be boys, Gillette. We’re fine just the way we are. All of us, or most of us are fine. It’s a shame that there’s no such thing as a female being friendly vs. flirty for some guys, they’re just the same thing.

Thank you for reading “Friendly vs. Flirty.” Be sure to like, share and comment your thoughts on this story.

On Thursday, I will be posting “Keeping My Art Private” on the Warfield Zone.