My Worst Nightmare

Why do the days have to be so long with you?

Are you ever gonna give me a break?

Are we ever gonna stop fighting with each other?

Are you ever gonna let me open myself up to others?

Are you always gonna force me into isolation?

Please, I have to know.

I’m trying so hard to make things work with you, but it’s impossible.

You have to have your way because of who you are.

I just want to be happy for once.

Why can’t you let me experience that?

I heard happiness was a special feeling, but I wouldn’t know thanks to you.

Happiness is only a flower that I can never hold.

I can only see its beauty planted from a distance.

I pray to God every day to get rid of you, but you’re still here.

I read the Bible every day to find ways to fight you, but you’re still here.

What more can I do?

How come God and the Bible ain’t enough to fight you?

What more do I need for deliverance from you?

I think about asking others for help, but I’m hesitant.

I don’t want people knowing about you.

I don’t want people associating you with me.

I don’t want people questioning how you’re with me in the first place.

I don’t want people looking at me differently.

I don’t want people discovering how weak I am because of you

I don’t want people learning who I am because of you.

You hold all the power over me.

I fear that you’ll get the best of me.

I’m tired of fighting, and I just want to let you win.

Because you are my worst nightmare.

This is the end of the poem “My Worst Nightmare.”

Be sure to like, share and comment your thoughts on this poem.

This week, I will be posting two short stories. On Tuesday, I will be posting and sharing the short story “Preferences.” On Thursday, I will be posting and sharing the short story “A Terrible Wingman.”

I Promise

Why does life have to be so hard?

I’ve relied on you for years to help me through the struggle, but you’ve gotten weaker.

You’re not as strong as you used to be.

What changed?

Can you tell me what I have to do with our without you?

I long to keep you by my side, but I’m worried you’re slipping away from me.

I’ve failed so much that I’ve forgotten what success was like with you.

You’re like a distant relative now, but you’re supposed to be my best friend.

I’m ashamed that I’ve allowed others to take your place.

These others want to hurt, kill and destroy me.

These others want me to cater to my lustful needs and desires.

These others don’t want me to reach my destination.

These others don’t want me to see that I have a purpose.

These others don’t want me to see you in my life.

I need to make you essential in my life because I can’t do it without you.

You’re the one that makes me who I am.

I can’t blame you for being weak when I’m the reason you’re weak now.

I should’ve catered to you constantly.

Instead, I treated you like a withered house plant.

I ignored you and didn’t you give you the necessary care to blossom.

I want you and no one else.

I realize now that if I don’t have you, I can’t have nobody.

You help me see the good and beauty of this world.

Without you, I only see the wickedness and the hopelessness that exists in this world.

Please, come back into my life.

Please, help me believe again.

Please, help me forgive myself for losing you.

Please, I need you.

You’re always going to be in my heart.

I promise that I’m gonna make you stronger again.

I promise we’re gonna be a team again.

I promise I’ll love you again.

I promise that you’ll be my strength again.

I promise.

This is the end of the poem “I Promise.”

What do you think this poem is about? Let me know in the comments what you think the poem “I Promise” is about and any other thoughts you may have. Also, if you’re following “The Green Mask” story in the Dark Colors series on my blog, this poem is connected with that short story. I will be posting part three and four of “The Green Mask” this week on Tuesday and Thursday.

Khalil

I can’t believe how close we are, despite being miles away from each other.

I wish were closer in proximity.

However, it wasn’t meant to be.

Sometimes I worry that I’m not doing enough, but you assure me that I’m fine.

You assure me that you love me and appreciate the best I can give you.

I only wish that everyone can give you their best.

However, it doesn’t matter to you.

You continue to allow your confidence to fly and wake up in the sky.

I can’t describe how proud I am of you.

How are you so awesome?

How are you so cool?

How did I get so lucky to have you in my life?

I’m thankful that you look up to.

I hope and pray that I won’t let you down.

I know that we’re going to have a bright future together as brothers.

I love you, Khalil.

This is the end of the poem “Khalil.”

On Tuesday, I will be posting part one of a four-part story titled “The Green Mask” on the Dark Colors series. Then, I will be posting part two on Thursday.

You Can Do Better Than Me

Sometimes it feels like I’m a burden in your life.

Sometimes it feels like I’m a bump in your road.

Sometimes it feels like I’m a crack in your mirror.

Sometimes it feels like I’m a spot on your body.

Sometimes it feels like I’m a meaningless cliché to you.

Sometimes it feels like we don’t belong.

I try to ignore these feelings, but I can’t.

They’re too loud with their cries to ignore.

I know you don’t need me, but I’m worried that I need you.

I need you to tell me that I’m not a disappointment but a gift to you.

I need you to assure me that there’s no reason to be worried.

I hope you can give me what I need, but I fear that you can’t.

I want to be honest with you, but I worry that it’s an inconvenience to you.

How could I get in the way of your happiness?

How could I not see that you’re killing it in life right now?

How could I get in the way of your success?

Who am I to do such a terrible thing to you?

It’s selfish of me to tell you how I feel.

You need to worry about yourself, not about me and my insecurities.

After all, I’m the only one that can save myself.

You truly are amazing, and I’m so thankful to have you in my life.

However, I feel like I have to let you go.

You deserve someone better than me.

You deserve someone that has more worth to you than me.

You deserve the best that God can bless you with.

I feel like I’m the worst, and you can do better than me.

My Sweet Poison

I don’t know why I’m thinking about you right now.

I guess I miss you and hope you’re doing good.

Do you remember the times we had?

I remember them on my loneliest of days.

I miss them with a passion.

I wish we could have those times back once more.

I wish like Stevie Wonder.

I remember how much you loved him, my Cherie amour.

It was always special listening to him with you.

There are so many things I still want to do to you.

I still want to admire you and never stop admiring you.

I still want to look at you and never stop looking at you.

I still want to hold you and never let you go.

I still want to love you and never stop loving you.

Sadly, it’s not possible.

We had to go our separate ways.

I know we loved each other, but we weren’t meant to be together.

We could only be a short-term relationship.

I knew this, but you never did.

You thought we were endgame.

You thought we were meant to have a long life together.

You had this beautiful fantasy for us that I wanted to believe in.

It was a sweet dream, but I could never dream or believe in it.

I was stuck in the harsh reality.

I want to forget about you, but I can’t.

You were the worst, but I can only see the good in you.

You were toxic, but you were sweet.

You are my sweet poison.

Chasing After You

I can see you clearly now.

I want you now more than ever.

I have to be clever and never lose you.

I have to keep you close to my heart, so that we can never be apart again.

Sadly, that’s all my fault.

You did nothing wrong with me.

In fact, you were always by my side, when I did nothing but neglect you.

How could I treat you so bad?

How could I not see your beauty needed my undivided attention?

How did we end up having an on-and-off relationship?

I was lost in this world at a very young age.

I was intoxicated by my own selfish desires, and I couldn’t see you anymore.

You were lost to me in the wilderness I created in my life

I apologize for losing you over the years.

You deserved commitment from me, and I wasn’t giving that to you.

I was distracted by other things, but now I realize you are what I want.

You are what I must have in my life.

If I don’t have you, then what do I have?

I have to ask, how can you be so forgiving?

Why have always been by my side?

Honestly, I now know that we’re destined to be together.

God put you in my life for a reason.

God knew that you were gonna bring out the best version of me.

God knew that you were gonna always believe in me.

God knew that you were gonna be patient with me.

God knew that we had something special that couldn’t compare.

Thank you for not giving up on me.

Thank you for being with me since the day I was born.

I see you now more than ever.

You are what I want in my life.

I am chasing after you.

This is the end of the poem “Chasing After You.”

This week, I will be posting part one of a four-part story titled “The Girl I Never Want to See Again.” Then, I will be posting part two on Thursday.

A Necessary Nightmare

I can’t stand what you do to me.

You deceive me into believing that I’m weak.

You blind me so that I won’t see the truth.

You manipulate me into being a coward.

You discourage me from being who I am.

You decide my fate and future in this world.

Why do you have so much power over me?

Why do I cower in your presence?

Why do you always want to limit my potential?

Why do you want control over my life?

Why do I allow you to have control over my life?

Why will you always be in my life?

It’s a constant fight with you.

Sometimes I win and sometimes you win.

I wonder when the fighting will be over, but it will never be over.

We’re destined to be at each other’s throats.

We’re destined to do this forever it seems.

We’re destined to do this till the day I die.

I hate that you’re in my life, but I’m thankful for you.

You make me and my faith in God stronger.

You’re in my life to push me towards success.

However, you’re also trying to push me towards my fears and failures.

You’re a dangerous, but necessary evil that I need in my life.

You are a necessary nightmare.

By My Side

I remember when I was scared and didn’t know what I was doing.

I was losing at life and ready to throw in the towel.

I thought to myself that life was too strong of an opponent.

It was faster and stronger than me.

It’s punches were heavy and brutal.

It was like Muhammad Ali.

Floating like a butterfly and stinging like a bee.

I couldn’t see my life with my own eyes and couldn’t get control it.

Instead, I just gave up fighting.

What was the point if I didn’t have the skills and necessary resources to beat life?

So, I let life beat me down to a bloody pulp.

Then, my dad came along.

He saw the hurt that I was going through and pushed me to get up.

He couldn’t bear seeing me lose at life.

My dad knew that I was meant to conquer my life.

My dad knew that I was meant to be a fighter, and he wouldn’t let me lie down in defeat.

Instead, he got me on my feet and trained me.

He trained me to fight life as man, not as a boy.

He trained me to be a planner instead of a procrastinator.

He trained me to believe in myself.

He trained me to strengthen my faith in God.

For He is a powerful ally to have to fight life and all it’s allies.

He fueled me with the necessary knowledge and resources to fight life.

My dad truly trained me well.

It’s a constant fight with life, but I’m hanging in there.

Life comes with many surprises and twists, and it sometimes knocks me out.

However, I quickly get back up and continue the fight.

I’m winning more rounds, and it’s thanks to my dad.

He wouldn’t let me give up on myself because he knew that I could beat life.

He knew that I could flourish in life.

He believed in me when I couldn’t believe in myself.

I love you so much dad and thank you for always being by my side.

This is the end of the poem “By My Side.”

Be sure to like, share and comment your thoughts on this poem dedicated to my dad. I love you so much Shawn McNeil and thank you for being the best dad that I needed in my life. You’ve helped me reach unimaginable heights in life, and I’m so thankful and blessed to call you my dad.

This week, I will be sharing a two-part story this week called “Checking Out a Soon-to-be-Mom.” On Tuesday, I will be posting part one.

My Greatest Teacher

It’s hard to imagine who I’d be without you.

You’ve given me so much, and I can never repay you.

You taught me the beauty of love.

You taught me the significance of faith.

You taught me the importance of family.

You taught me the strength of integrity.

You taught me the power of honor.

You taught me the truth of manhood.

How could I ever repay you?

You taught me good things that some men are never taught.

You helped me learn good things that some men can never learn.

You showed me how a man treats a woman.

It’s with love, honor, respect and care.

It’s with work, strength, kindness and patience.

Sadly, some men treat women differently than how you showed me.

Thank you for making sure that I wasn’t like some men in this world.

Thank you for teaching me how to be a true man.

Thank you for helping me believe in myself as a man.

For a minute, I thought my past would stop me.

It’s always mocking me in the present and never seeming to go away.

However, you assure me that my past will not be my future.

You tell me that my past will be my light.

For it will illuminate my mistakes and tragedies.

However, it will show how far I’ve come.

I’m stronger, wiser, healthier and better because of my past.

I need my past to be who I am today and in the future.

Thank you for teaching me my past is my cure to the future.

You’ve been with me most of my life, and you’ve always had my back.

I’ll always cherish everything you taught me.

I’ll use your teachings and become the man you see me becoming.

I’ll be a man of God.

I’ll be a great husband and a great father to my children.

And I’ll pass down your teachings from generation to generation.

I love you so much dad.

Thank you for being my greatest teacher.

Better Than Somebody I Used to Know

I appreciate everything you’ve done for me.

I can clearly see your love to me is real.

Sorry if you don’t know that.

You know that opening up is a struggle for me, but you don’t care.

You push me to the point of anger to open up because you only want the best for me.

More than somebody I used to know.

I can’t help but thank you for that.

I don’t know where I would be without you.

I would probably be another statistic or even an alcoholic like somebody I used to know.

I probably wouldn’t even have God or love in my heart.

Somebody I used to know would create something different in my heart.

It would be empty filled with darkness, hatred and excuses.

It’s scary to imagine, but you wouldn’t allow such an atrocity to happen to me.

You made sure to ignite a light inside me that has grown into a fire.

A fire that would see no darkness, see no hatred or see no excuses.

For that, I thank you.

You’ve always been by my side.

Somebody I used to know would hide from me.

You’ve always been my motivation.

Somebody I used to know was my aggravation..

You’ve always been my role model.

Somebody I used to know was my false idol.

Even though you haven’t been with me all my life, I love you with all my heart.

You have supported me in ways I could never imagine.

Your strength, honor and integrity is like no other.

My love to you is unconditional.

My love to somebody I used to know is conditional.

Thank you for being so much better than somebody I used to know.

This is the end of the poem “Better Than Somebody I Used to Know” in the Poetry series.

Be sure to like, share and comment your thoughts on this poem.

In honor of Father’s Day and my dad’s birthday coming up next week, all writings this week will be dedicated to my dad Shawn McNeil! On Tuesday, I will be posting the short story “Horror Movies With My Dad.” On Thursday, I will be posting the short story “Never Missing a Thing.” Then, I will be posting two poems about my dad on Saturday and Sunday!