Praying For Nothing

I remember the first time I was praying for nothing,

I wasn’t expecting anything in return,

I was just praying a meaningless prayer that day,

I didn’t care if God was listening to this prayer,

I believed God didn’t care,

I believed He was content in not doing anything for me,

I believed in my worst fears over Him,

And I was scared out of my mind for months,

I was letting nightmares consume me for months,

With no room for sweet dreams to keep me comfort.

Yet I still found myself praying,

Despite my heart not being into it,

Or no longer believing in the power of prayer,

I still prayed that I could get better again,

I still prayed to find peace and happiness,

I still prayed expecting nothing in return.

A True Miracle

I remember I was praying for a true miracle to come my way,

During a time I didn’t even believe in miracles,

During a time I was away from God,

I remember being truly broken,

And just praying because I had no other options.


I was just praying to pass the time,

But it was strangely calming my worries,

I ended up praying for years for a miracle to come my way,

But a clear miracle never came my way,

All I heard was complete silence.


Yet I somehow found the strength to keep going,

I somehow found life to be beautiful again,

I somehow found happiness again,

I somehow found peace again,

In all those years of praying.


Maybe I didn’t need a clear miracle to come my way,

Or maybe the miracle wasn’t so simple,

Maybe I just needed to keep trying,

Maybe I just needed to keep going,

Maybe that’s a true miracle.

A New Chapter

A new chapter finally begins,

Hopefully you’re not carrying any sins

Into this new chapter,

Otherwise you will easily shatter,

Into a million pieces like a broken mirror,

Or this new chapter could start with a reign of terror,

Start this new chapter out right,

Let this new chapter bring you delight,

New chapters are meant to be exciting,

And even inviting,

The old chapter is gone and erased,

And a new chapter must be embraced.

The End of a Chapter

A chapter finally comes to an end,

It’s either time to transcend,

Or be condemned at the end of it all.

It’s up to you decide if you want to stand tall,

Or fall to the ground.

Only you can decide if you want be found,

Or not around anymore.

There are too many hard choices to explore,

You cannot ignore them in any way,

Nor can you run away,

Today a decision must be made,

Hopefully you’re not afraid,

Of the end of a chapter.

The Next Chapter

Sometimes it’s hard to move on to the next chapter,

Especially if time is a determining factor,

In how long you remain with one chapter,

It must matter to you to see the chapter after,

Otherwise you’ll be stuck,

And maybe run out of luck.


There are some chapters that are fun to reread,

There are others that make us bleed,

There are even some that feed a tiny seed,

And stifle our growth,

And force us to loathe,

And even make us break a sacred oath close to our hearts,

Why must we endure a story with such dreadful parts?


There’s no story without pain and suffering

But there’s always a story about recovering,

And possibly discovering a new type of strength,

But why are there some stories that end with death?

Why are there some chapters that make us shatter?

Why is it so hard sometimes to move on to the next chapter?


Dream Girls: Part Fourteen

The sun is slowly rising up in the sky,

A new day is finally about to start,

I’m sitting on a black boulder in a vast forest,

I look around

And admire the priceless scenery that surrounds me,

The sun is close to setting,

And it’s about to provide the blue sky with an array of colors.

A slight breeze is quietly touching me,

It means me no harm.

It’s only meant to provide me a sound mind,

I stare into the sparkling river in front of me,

The rapid flow of the river is pleasing to my ears.


My heart starts beating fast,

There’s something wrong here,

There’s something not quite right here.

This place feels all too familiar,

Yet so wrong in every way.

There’s something missing here,

Actually there’s someone missing here,

This place is deceiving me,

And I need the truth now.


Something strange starts to happen,

The river gets louder,

The breeze becomes the wind,

The branches on trees start to break and make noises,

But the sky remains the same,

The orange sun shines bright in the blue sky.


A twig breaks behind me,

And I see a woman in an all black cloak,

I can see her clearly,

She has a menacing look on her face,

And I see she has a knife in her right hand,

And shattered red sunglasses in her left hand,

When I see the sunglasses,

I instantly remember who was supposed to be with me here,

In this place.


I try to run away,

But she reaches me,

Before I can even make an attempt to escape,

And she stabs me in the stomach.

She pulls the knife out quickly,

And blood starts pouring on the ground,

I stagger backwards,

I’m struggling to breathe,

And I’m trying to comprehend this unfortunate event,


All of a sudden,

The strangest thing starts to happen,

The orange fades away,

The blue sky is covered with gray clouds,

My beautiful scenery is slowly fading away,

I’m staggering backwards,

And I fall into the river,

But then I find myself in some sort of white tub,

Everything turns white.

Until everything turns black.

Enjoy the Dream

I can’t believe I’m in a better place now,

I never thought I would make it to this point,

This can’t be real,

How did I make it here?

How did I endure so much?

I still don’t know,

I think I’m dreaming

And living a terrible nightmare.

How long can I enjoy this dream?

How long will I be here,

Before I have to go back?

I fear this dream will not last long,

And I will soon wake up to a harsh reality,

But I can’t deny that I’m experiencing a beautiful dream,

Full of happiness and peace at last,

I’ve been waiting patiently for this dream,

I’ll try my best not to worry so much,

I’ll try my best to enjoy this dream.

I’m Not Doing Enough

It hurts that I’m never doing enough in your eyes,

I do try my best,

But it’s never enough for you.

I’m constantly trying to get better,

I’m constantly looking for ways to improve,

But you demand immediate perfection.

You demand more from me,

I used to appreciate it,

But now it just defeats me.

Your disappointments in me take away my motivation,

They take away the joys I had in improving.

You’re not proud of me,

I’m a failure in your eyes,

You don’t even know how much that hurts me.

Maybe you don’t even care,



You just want me to be the best,

And you won’t be satisfied until I am the best.

Maybe I don’t want to be the best anymore.

It’s been exhausting for me,

And I don’t even know if it’s worth it anymore.

Maybe I should stop,

Maybe I should give up,

After all,

I’m not doing enough.

I’m Missing Me

I wish I could see myself again,

I barely recognize who I am now,

I’m lost and afraid,

I’m not myself anymore.

It’s been so long since I’ve seen myself,

Where did I go?

What am I even trying to do now?

I’m trying to survive,

I’m trying to get through the days,

I’m trying to avoid new possibilities,

I’m trying to forget about enjoying life,

I hate who I’ve become,

I used to be more vibrant,

I used to be more positive,

I used to be happy,

I’m missing who I once was,

I’m missing me.

Today is a Hard Day

Today is just hard for me,

I hope I’m doing alright,

I hope this is just a rare day,

That is just all too familiar for me.

I hope I’m doing everything right,

I wish I could know for sure,

I hate having doubt,

I hate that I can’t believe in myself.

Will I always hate myself?

Why can’t I love myself?

Why is it a struggle to stay positive?

I guess if it was easy,

Everyone could do it.


I’m trying to do my best,

I’m trying not to worry so much,

But I can’t help it.

Worry creeps in my mind,

Doubt keeps me up at night,

Fear sleeps with me every night.


I thought I was doing better,

I thought I was over days like this one,

Today is not a good day for me,

Today I’m feeling like the old me,

Today I’m realizing a hard truth,

Today I’m having a hard day.