Laziness

When it comes to you, I’m insecure

I can’t resist your allure

No matter how hard I try

I can’t deny you

You’re a large part of my life

And I hate that

Why do I lust after you?

Why is it so easy to embrace you?

I yearn for you

But I can never seem to learn that you’re slowly killing me softly

Or maybe I’m not willing to do anything about it

Because I enjoy you so much

You give me everything I want

Comfort, satisfaction and relaxation

And I was okay with the intoxication

And losing my fascination in life

Just being lost in translation with you

I forget that I have responsibilities

Because of you

And I neglect them

Until it’s too late

As much as I hate to say it

You’re evil, but you’re also innocent

You never forced me to embrace you

It was my choice

It was my choice to sleep with you

It was my choice to creep with you

It was my choice to abandon my work

And get closer to you

But you were deceitful

You slowly filled with me with your poison

And made me sin

Not so much against God, but against myself

I had lost touch of who I was

And could barely recognize myself because of you

Am I to blame?

Or am I just being framed by you?

I don’t know the answer

But I know that you’re not the answer

If anything, you’re the cancer that slowly builds up inside of me

By the time I notice, it’ll be too little, too late to be talking about change

By then, I’ll be a dead man walking

 

I need to make a change now

I need to remember who I was before you came along

I need to sing my song, instead of listening to your songs

I need to believe that life without you is a better one

I need so much, but I want so much more

I still want you in my life

I can’t imagine a life without you

You make life easier to deal with

But at the same time, you distract me from what’s real in life

You make me forget my goals, dreams and aspirations

And you instead fill me with regret

And I don’t want that anymore

I want something more out of life

But I know that it can’t include you

You’ll only slow me down

So, I have to say goodbye to you

And hope that I never see you again

 

I wrote this poem a few days ago because I realized that I was having an unhealthy relationship with laziness. There were times that I could’ve been more productive with my time, but I decided to be lazy. It’s been more than a month since my last post, and I hate that. I was striving to consistently write in my blog, but I found that I was not really caring to write or post. The reason is because of laziness. In my opinion, being lazy causes you to be careless and exasperated at inconvenient times of your life. For me, I used school and work as my excuse for being lazy. I was telling myself that I could relax because I’ve been working extremely hard in school and work, and I deserved to have a little relaxation time. However, too much of something is never good thing. I found that relaxing was a significant part of my day-to-day routine. I was barely able to get any of my writing done, pray to God and other things that I deeply valued in my life. So, I realized that I had to discipline myself and also find a healthy balance. It’s important to find time to relax and to give yourself a break, but you don’t want to be dependent on it. I want certain things in life but none of that will be possible if I’m just being lazy. I have to be willing to put in the extra work and time to have the life that I envisioned for myself. In addition, I can’t make any poor excuses about why things are not progressing in my life. I have to say goodbye to laziness.

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