I Like Me Today

Today is a good day for me,

I’m feeling so much better about myself today,

And I feel like others don’t mind having me around today,

And I’m happy about that,

I am happy with myself today.

I wish I could feel like this all the time,

But that’s just wishful thinking on my part,

I just can’t do that every day,

Maybe one day I can,

But tomorrow will be a different story,

For now I will not worry about tomorrow,

I’ll just enjoy today,

I’ll just be thankful for today,

But I can’t wait to have another day like this day again.

No One Likes Me

I wonder if people genuinely like me,

Or if they’re just tolerating me.

I can understand people struggling to like me,

I don’t like me sometimes,

Sometimes I wish I wasn’t me,

I’m sure that I can be annoying at times,

And people can’t wait for me to leave their presence,

I feel like I’m unbearable to a lot of people,

I feel like I make people uncomfortable,

I feel like no one likes me.

I’m Missing Me

I wish I could see myself again,

I barely recognize who I am now,

I’m lost and afraid,

I’m not myself anymore.

It’s been so long since I’ve seen myself,

Where did I go?

What am I even trying to do now?

I’m trying to survive,

I’m trying to get through the days,

I’m trying to avoid new possibilities,

I’m trying to forget about enjoying life,

I hate who I’ve become,

I used to be more vibrant,

I used to be more positive,

I used to be happy,

I’m missing who I once was,

I’m missing me.

Today is a Hard Day

Today is just hard for me,

I hope I’m doing alright,

I hope this is just a rare day,

That is just all too familiar for me.

I hope I’m doing everything right,

I wish I could know for sure,

I hate having doubt,

I hate that I can’t believe in myself.

Will I always hate myself?

Why can’t I love myself?

Why is it a struggle to stay positive?

I guess if it was easy,

Everyone could do it.

I’m trying to do my best,

I’m trying not to worry so much,

But I can’t help it.

Worry creeps in my mind,

Doubt keeps me up at night,

Fear sleeps with me every night.

I thought I was doing better,

I thought I was over days like this one,

Today is not a good day for me,

Today I’m feeling like the old me,

Today I’m realizing a hard truth,

Today I’m having a hard day.

You Can Do Better Than Me

Sometimes it feels like I’m a burden in your life.

Sometimes it feels like I’m a bump in your road.

Sometimes it feels like I’m a crack in your mirror.

Sometimes it feels like I’m a spot on your body.

Sometimes it feels like I’m a meaningless cliché to you.

Sometimes it feels like we don’t belong.

I try to ignore these feelings, but I can’t.

They’re too loud with their cries to ignore.

I know you don’t need me, but I’m worried that I need you.

I need you to tell me that I’m not a disappointment but a gift to you.

I need you to assure me that there’s no reason to be worried.

I hope you can give me what I need, but I fear that you can’t.

I want to be honest with you, but I worry that it’s an inconvenience to you.

How could I get in the way of your happiness?

How could I not see that you’re killing it in life right now?

How could I get in the way of your success?

Who am I to do such a terrible thing to you?

It’s selfish of me to tell you how I feel.

You need to worry about yourself, not about me and my insecurities.

After all, I’m the only one that can save myself.

You truly are amazing, and I’m so thankful to have you in my life.

However, I feel like I have to let you go.

You deserve someone better than me.

You deserve someone that has more worth to you than me.

You deserve the best that God can bless you with.

I feel like I’m the worst, and you can do better than me.

My Recurring Nightmare

Why do you always want to hurt me in the worst possible way?

What did I do to ever hurt you?

For years, I believed in you and me, and I didn’t care what others said about you.

They didn’t know you like I knew you.

That’s what I always said to myself, but I realize now that I was deceived.

You always promised me that you would change, but you never did.

Why?

False advertisement, I guess.

Why did you lie to me for years?

Why do you continue to lie to me, when I know the truth?

Is it just easier to hurt me with your lies?

Can you only lie to me?

Is lying to me the only thing you can do to me?

Or have your lies become your truth now?

How can I love you, when I’m too tired to?

I’m tired of giving you everything, while you give me nothing.

I’m sorry, but my love to you is conditional.

I remember when it was unconditional, but you proved to me that it wasn’t.

How can my love be unconditional when all I saw was your dark side?

How can my love be unconditional when all I saw was your addiction?

How can my love be unconditional when all I saw was your anger?

How can my love be unconditional when all I saw was your excuses?

How can my love be unconditional when all I saw was your hatred?

How can my love be unconditional when all I saw was your destruction?

How can my love to you be unconditional?

Why can’t you let me go?

Can’t you see that my life’s better without you?

Can’t you see that I’m happier without you?

No, you never will.

Nor will the world.

They tell me that I have to give you chance after chance because of who you are.

They tell me that I have to honor you because of who you are.

They tell me that you love me because of who you are.

They tell me that I have to forgive and forget because of who you are

They tell me that I have to have you in my life because of who you are.

They tell me that I have to turn the other cheek because of who you are.

Well, I must ask when is enough enough?

Please, I just want to be free from your grasp.

I want to enjoy a life without you.

Can’t the world understand that?

I can’t lie, I do genuinely love you.

Without you, I wouldn’t be here.

However, you’re the worst.

It hurts me to say that, but it’s the truth.

You bring out the worst in me, and I want no part of you in my life because you’re toxic.

I know you won’t see these words or care about them at all.

You’ll just consider this poem a lie to who you are.

In your eyes, you’re the best with no flaws.

You were just dealt a bad hand, and I have to understand that.

Sadly, I refuse to understand that truth of yours.

How long will this go on?

How long will you continue to blame the past?

How long will you continue to blame life for who you are?

How long will you continue to give me false hope?

How long will you continue to disappoint me?

How long will you continue to give me promises that you can’t keep?

How long will you continue to abandon me?

How long will you continue to deceive me?

How long will you continue to have no knowledge of who I am?

How long will you continue to be my recurring nightmare?

This is the end of the poem “My Recurring Nightmare” in the Nightmares series. Be sure to like, share and comment your thoughts on this poem.

Tomorrow, I will be posting another poem on the Warfield Zone!