Letting You Go Completely

I remember you wanting me to be angry with you,

You hurt me in unimaginable ways,

And you expected me to respond.

You didn’t care how I responded,

You just wanted a response,

You just wanted my attention.

I never understood why you wanted this,

But it suddenly hit me,

If I’m angry with you,

You’ll still be in my heart, mind and soul.

I’m still holding on to you.

And just struggling to let you go completely.

I’m sorry I can’t give you what you want,

As long as I hold a grudge,

I’m practically stabbing myself,

And expecting you to bleed with me.

I’m only hurting myself.

I want to be happy,

I want to strive to choose kindness and gentleness,

Every single day,

Just because you want to be cruel,

Doesn’t mean that I have to choose that as well.

I hope you can let go,

And be better eventually,

But I want to be better now

And let you go completely.

Leaving You Behind

I want you to know that I’m hurting too,

It’s not easy to ignore you

Or push you away,

But I found that I’m happier without you.

I can see the joy in life clearly,

And I want to experience more of it.

I just want to think about myself,

I just want to take care of myself,

I don’t want to worry about you anymore,

Maybe I’m wrong for having this selfish mentality,

But something tells me I’m not entirely wrong.

Something tells me I deserve to treat myself right,

After putting you first each and every time.

I’m missing you,

But I’m not needing you anymore.

I’m changing and growing in a better way.

Surely you can be happy for me,

But I know you want me to think about you.

Maybe someday I’ll come back for you,

But for now I’m leaving you behind.

Having Joy and A Life

Life is all about perspective.

It’s true that I want certain things to go my way,

But I can’t disregard the things that are going my way.

I can’t disregard my blessings.

I have to cherish them with all my heart,

For they have purpose and meaning in my life.

I must never forget that.

Life will go on,

More seasons will come into my life,

And I plan on trying my best to find joy in each season.

No matter how hard or difficult each season may be.

There’s always a way to find joy.

There’s always the choice to choose between joy and despair.

Even though it can be a struggle at times,

I want to strive to always choose joy over despair,

That’s a promise.

I want life to be an exploration for me.

A journey that is unique and true to me.

An adventure that offers me development, excitement and opportunity.

I want to enjoy life.

It’s time to enjoy life.

It’s time to have joy.

It’s time for me to have joy and a life.