It was late when I first saw you,

The kind of night where silence hums louder than sound,

Where the moon spills silver like a secret across the sky.

And then there was you. 

Short curls resting like shadows on your crown,

Caramel skin catching light like it was chosen and not given,

Eyes not just looking,

But reaching,

Like they knew parts of me I’ve never spoken aloud.

Your lips soft as something meant to ruin me slowly,

The kind of sweetness that lingers,

Long after the moment has passed.  

The moon was bright that night,

But it dimmed the second you existed in it. 

I told myself you were just a moment, 

Just another passing face in the dark.

But you don’t pass,

You stay. 

You settle into my thoughts like a quiet addiction.

Uninvited,

Unshaken,

Unchallenged.

Now I crave the unseen versions of you,

The sides no one else has traced,

The depths no one else has dared to drown in. 

I want to lose myself in you,

Not gently,

Not safely,

But completely. 

To feel what it means to be intoxicated by a presence,

To let you run through my veins,

Like something both holy and dangerous. 

You’ve entered my system without warning,

Rewriting me from the inside out.

And now I don’t know how long you’ll stay,

Or how long I’ll survive like this,

Caught somewhere between euphoria and ruin. 

I tell myself I need to come down,

I need to find clarity,

I need to remember who I was before you,

But clarity feels empty,

Compared to the chaos of you.

It’s gotten worse.

You haunt the quiet parts of my mind,

Turning every still moment into a memory of you.

My thoughts don’t belong to me anymore,

They orbit you.

Even my body betrays me,

Pulse uneven,

Breath unsteady,

Like something inside me is collapsing,

Without your presence to hold it together. 

I feel sick,

Not the kind that fades with time,

But the kind that deepens.

And somehow,

You’re the only cure I can imagine.

What do I have to become to keep you?

What do I have to sacrifice to feel more of you?

This isn’t want anymore,

It’s desperation dressed as devotion. 

I’d trade pieces of myself without hesitation,

Reshape my world around you,

Just to feel whole again,

Or at least,

Whatever version of “whole” you’ve redefined. 

Without you, I unravel.

LIfe turns jagged, 

Restless,

Unbearably loud in all the wrong ways. 

You’ve become more than a thought,

More than a feeling, 

You are the substance now, 

The craving,

The need, 

My remedy and my ruin. 

And a midnight dose of you, 

Barely keeps me alive anymore. 

I need more.