The Beggar’s Bargain: Part One

I wish I could see her again.

Just once.

To hold her in my arms
And feel the warmth of her breath against my skin.
To hear her heart beating,
Slowly, softly,
Until it fell in sync with mine.

I would give anything for that.

Anything.

I still can’t believe she’s gone.
Some mornings, I wake up expecting her to be beside me.
Some nights, I reach across the bed
Only to find cold sheets beneath my hand.

She’s gone.

And no matter how many times I tell myself that,
My heart refuses to believe it.

God is cruel to me.

How am I supposed to keep living
When the person who made life worth living
Is no longer here?

So I stopped trying.

I stopped going home.
Stopped answering calls.
Stopped sleeping.
Stopped eating.

I started drinking instead.

It was easier.

There’s more liquor than blood inside of me now,
And every night I pour another glass
Hoping it will drown the memories.

It never does.

Her face still finds me in the dark.

Her voice still whispers in my dreams.

And every morning,
I wake up disappointed that I survived another night.

That night, the rain had soaked through my clothes.

I wandered through the city without knowing where I was going.
Streetlights flickered above me.
The sidewalks were empty.
Every window I passed was dark.

I felt like a ghost
Long before I ever died.

Then I saw him.

A beggar sitting beneath a broken streetlight.

At first, I barely noticed him.

His clothes were filthy.
His shoes were worn down to the soles.
His hair hung over his face, dripping with rain.

But something about him made me stop.

Maybe it was the way he sat perfectly still
While the rain poured around him.

Maybe it was the way he wasn’t shivering.

Or maybe…

It was the fact that he was staring directly at me.

I looked behind me.

There was no one else.

I turned back.

He was still watching.

His eyes were strange.

Too dark.

Too focused.

Like he wasn’t looking at my face.

Like he was looking through me.

I tightened my grip around the bottle in my hand
And started walking.

“Please.”

I stopped.

His voice was barely above a whisper.

I slowly turned around.

He held out one trembling hand.

I reached into my pocket.

“How much?”

He didn’t answer.

Instead, his head tilted slightly.

Then he smiled.

There was something wrong with his smile.

Too wide.

Too deliberate.

Like he had been waiting for me.

“I don’t want your money,” he said.

I stared at him.

“Then what do you want?”

His smile disappeared.

He looked at me for a long moment.

Then his eyes dropped to the photograph in my hand.

The one I carried everywhere.

The last picture I had of her.

My stomach tightened.

“How did you—”

“You want her back.”

It wasn’t a question.

I stepped backward.

The beggar slowly rose to his feet.

For the first time, I noticed how tall he was.

Far too tall.

His wet clothes clung to a body that looked unnaturally thin, almost skeletal.

He took one step toward me.

Then another.

“You’ve been asking for a way,” he whispered.

My heart began pounding.

“A way to see her again.”

I couldn’t speak.

He stopped inches away from me.

His breath smelled of something rotten.

Then he leaned toward my ear.

“I can give you what you want.”

I looked into his eyes.

“What would it cost?”

The beggar smiled again.

This time, I saw something behind his teeth.

Something that made my blood run cold.

“Everything has a price.”

He reached into his coat
And pulled out a small, black piece of paper.

He held it between two fingers.

“Make a deal with me…”

The rain suddenly stopped.

And the streetlight above us went dark.

“…and you can have her back.”

I should have run.

I should have thrown the bottle down
And disappeared into the night.

But desperation has a way of making monsters look like miracles.

So I reached for the paper.

And that was the moment
I made the worst mistake of my life.

To be continued…

I Whispered His Name to Death

I remember the first time I saw him, 

He was arrogant and loud,

He still is to this day, 

He is a man swollen with a twisted belief,

That nothing in this world stood above him. 

The rules bend around him like frightened servants.

He is a true menace in plain sight. 

Yet everyone adored him, 

They worshipped the man who never loses, 

The man who lives for the race, 

The man who runs, 

As if Death itself could never catch him.

But I saw the truth in him, 

He is a thief wearing a crown    

And then there was her, 

The girl I loved in silence for a year, 

From the shadows, 

From the corners where my eyes could linger, 

Without ever being seen.

She was perfect. 

Too perfect for the world that surrounded her. 

Her smile was soft, 

Like something sacred only meant for me.

She was supposed to be mine, 

And he noticed me staring at her. 

He looked at her, 

Then at me, 

And asked if she’s mine. 

I froze. 

Just for a moment. 

A single moment too long, 

And that was all he needed.

He walked over to her, 

As if she were a prize, 

Waiting to be claimed. 

He made her laugh in ways

I had rehearsed a thousand times in my head. 

Her smile widened for him, 

Her voice was soft and gentle, 

Sweet enough to haunt my dreams. 

Her body leaned toward him, 

And his hand rested against her arm,

Like it had always belonged there. 

She was supposed to be mine, 

And he stole her from me, 

Like it was nothing to him, 

Like taking a coin from a beggar’s hand. 

So I confronted him. 

I demanded what was mine,

And he laughed, 

Laughed like I was a joke

God forgot to finish writing. 

Then he offered me a race for her. 

He would even give me a head start. 

He asked with a wicked smile, 

“How badly do you want her?” 

He knew. 

He knew I couldn’t beat him. 

But I ran anyway. 

Because she was watching. 

Surely she would see the truth. 

Surely she would see that he was a monster.

A man who didn’t deserve her. 

A man who would treat her like another trophy, 

To hang on his wall.

I looked back,

And saw her clinging to him, 

Looking at him like he was a god. 

Why couldn’t she see what I see? 

I ran, 

I ran until my lungs burned, 

Slowed down a little, 

Not even sure if I was close to the finish line,

I had to look back, 

Not understanding her devotion, 

To her new god she just met. 

As I was looking back, 

He started running, 

And he was already past me, 

Eyes locked on the finish line, 

Not even acknowledging me. 

What happened to my head start? 

He won. 

Of course he won. 

Years passed. 

He never stops running, 

He never stops flaunting her in my face, 

She has his children now. 

He doesn’t care about her,

The way I do, 

He doesn’t love her, 

The way I do, 

He stole her from me, 

Because it amused him. 

Because it was a game to him. 

I hate him. 

I hate him in ways that poison the blood. 

Every breath I take tastes like him. 

Every night his laughter crawls through my skull. 

I cannot outrun him. 

I cannot beat him. 

But there is one thing that can. 

I whisper his name to Death. 

Softly. 

Over and over again. 

Like a prayer spoken in the dark. 

Death listens.

Death is patient. 

Death waits for the right door. 

And when Death finally knocks on his door, 

I will be waiting. 

Take him. 

Break him. 

Make him feel the terror, 

Of being chased.

Let him run, 

Until his legs shatter, 

Until his lungs drown in fear.

Make him understand what it feels like to lose. 

I would gladly give my life, 

For that moment. 

Take my breath. 

Take my soul. 

Take every second I have left. 

Just for a chance,

For him to see Death.