Never Missing A Thing

When I think about my dad, Shawn McNeil, I’m thankful for having him in my life. I think about his integrity, determination, hard work, respect, kindness, wisdom and love for others. In addition, I admire his faith and how he’s a true man of God. These things and more that he has instilled in his body, mind and soul are things that I strive for and cherish in my life thanks to him. He taught me how to be a man when I was three years old. He came into my life, and he did his job as my father. Throughout the years, he was always by my side and made sure that I not only felt love but understood it. Looking back on the years and now, I realize that my dad was never missing a thing with me.

When I was 11 years old, I remember that I was starting to learn how to play the drums thanks to my dad Shawn McNeil. He wanted my siblings and I to learn how to play either the drums or piano. Since all my siblings decided to learn how to play the piano, I naturally elected to play the drums. I was thinking to myself that somebody has to do it. We have to have a drummer in the family, right? Anyways, I learned for years how to play the drums by Mr. Charles and every year I would participate in a recital. When I was 12 years old, I had my first ever recital with my little brother Isaac. We were performing the song “I Believe I Can Fly” by R. Kelly. I remember I told my biological father Keith about the recital. He promised that he could make it to the recital, but he never did. I invited him to four recitals, but he never made it to any of them. I’ll admit that it bothered me a little when he made false promises to me, but it didn’t destroy me because of my dad. My dad went to all of my recitals, and I felt loved and appreciated because of him. I had my mom and dad at my recitals cheering me on, and it was all I needed to feel loved and appreciated.

In high school, I was a sprinter on the Track and Field team. I participated in the 100 meter, 200 meter, 400 meter and 4×400 meter relay. I told Keith about me being on the track and field team, and he was proud of me. It meant a lot to me to have his approval, especially in high school. I remember year after year he would always promise to come to a track meet, but he never did. It didn’t bother that much because I was used to his empty promises by now. Anyways, I wasn’t hurt that Keith wasn’t there because I had my dad supporting and cheering me on. In fact, he was always exercising and training with me to be a better runner. If it wasn’t for my dad, I probably would never have lettered in track and field. He pushed to be the best possible version of myself, and I’m constantly striving to be the best version of myself thanks to my dad.

One of the things that I really wanted to do in high school was join the theater and drama club. I wanted to act in a school play and/or musical. I talked to Keith about it one time, but he didn’t approve. He said that I shouldn’t do theater or drama club because it was “gay” to him. He didn’t approve of guys that did theater instead of sports, and he didn’t want me doing it. I couldn’t understand the toxic masculinity that existed within Keith, and it was sad and disappointing to me. At the same time, I was still trying to get his approval, so I didn’t do theater and drama club in my sophomore or junior year of high school. However, I did do it in my senior year of high school.

It was the fall play “Murder in the Knife Room” that really enticed me to want to join drama club in my senior year of high school, but I was hesitant because of Keith. My dad actually encouraged me to audition for “Murder in the Knife Room.” He told me that this was something that I needed to do, and it wasn’t gonna make me someone that I’m not. It was going to bring me happiness, and he was going to be there for me and support me. I appreciated my dad and his encouraging words. I ended up being Plastic Politician in “Murder in the Knife Room” and Lucas Beineke in “The Addams Family Musical.” Those two shows, the cast and crew hold a special place in my heart, but that’s another story. Anyways, my dad came to all of my shows, but Keith never came to one.

Around the time of my high school graduation, Keith was talking about how he was gonna come to my graduation. He made a promise to me, but he couldn’t come. I remember I was deeply hurt by this because I had opened myself up to him and believed him. Surely, he wouldn’t disappoint me on this important day in my life, but he did. Thankfully, my dad was there for me, and he was all I needed. He made sure that I wasn’t thinking about Keith rather all the people from my uncles, aunts, family friends, mom, siblings and others that were there for me. My dad made sure to be there with me when I got my diploma, and it meant so much to me that he was proud of me.

Now, I’ll always have love for Keith. I don’t know what’s going on his life, but I know that he’s struggling right now. I pray for him every single day because he is my father, and he will always hold a special place in my heart. However, I’m so thankful and blessed to have Shawn McNeil in my life because he made sure to be a father to me. He knew that I needed that support, and I needed an earthly father figure to believe in me. My recitals, track meets, shows and graduation were special to me because my dad was there for me when Keith wasn’t able to be that father to me. My dad made those things meaningful to me, and I’ll always be grateful for that. I’ll always cherish my dad for teaching me what love was because of those events in my life. I love you always dad, and thank you for never missing a thing with me.

This is the end of “Never Missing A Thing.”

Be sure to like, share and comment your thoughts on this short story.

This weekend, I will be posting poetry dedicated to my dad Shawn McNeil on Saturday and Sunday.

Better Than Somebody I Used to Know

I appreciate everything you’ve done for me.

I can clearly see your love to me is real.

Sorry if you don’t know that.

You know that opening up is a struggle for me, but you don’t care.

You push me to the point of anger to open up because you only want the best for me.

More than somebody I used to know.

I can’t help but thank you for that.

 

I don’t know where I would be without you.

I would probably be another statistic or even an alcoholic like somebody I used to know.

I probably wouldn’t even have God or love in my heart.

Somebody I used to know would create something different in my heart.

It would be empty filled with darkness, hatred and excuses.

It’s scary to imagine, but you wouldn’t allow such an atrocity to happen to me.

You made sure to ignite a light inside me that has grown into a fire.

A fire that would see no darkness, see no hatred or see no excuses.

ForĀ  that, I thank you.

 

You’ve always been by my side.

Somebody I used to know would hide from me.

You’ve always been my motivation.

Somebody I used to know was my aggravation..

You’ve always been my role model.

Somebody I used to know was my false idol.

 

Even though you haven’t been with me all my life, I love you with all my heart.

You have supported me in ways I could never imagine.

Your strength, honor and integrity is like no other.

My love to you is unconditional.

My love to somebody I used to know is conditional.

Thank you for being so much better than somebody I used to know.

 

This is the end of the poem “Better Than Somebody I Used to Know” in the Poetry series.

Be sure to like, share and comment your thoughts on this poem.

In honor of Father’s Day and my dad’s birthday coming up next week, all writings this week will be dedicated to my dad Shawn McNeil! On Tuesday, I will be posting the short story “Horror Movies With My Dad.” On Thursday, I will be posting the short story “Never Missing a Thing.” Then, I will be posting two poems about my dad on Saturday and Sunday!

 

 

Purity

I’m so thankful and proud to have you in my life.

I can’t imagine who I’d be without you.

Would I be lost, but eventually found?

Would I be insecure about who I am?

Would I be considered a hypocrite, if I didn’t have you in my life?

I’m not sure, I must admit.

 

I must admit that I thought about losing you.

I have thought about a life without you.

A life that can be care-free, simple and easy.

I’ve had opportunities to get rid of you as temptation constantly lurks in my life.

I remember times that I’ve almost submitted to temptation, but you stopped me.

I guess that’s one of the perks of having you in my life.

 

You’re always looking out for me, even when I don’t want you to.

I sometimes think the worst of you.

I sometimes think you’re a curse that I’ll never be free from.

I apologize to you for thinking such thoughts.

You’re a tree blessing in my life, and I need to appreciate you more.

I can’t allow the world to depreciate your value.

 

I thank God for you every day.

I pray that God continues to keep you in my life till we have to say goodbye to each other.

That day will come when I meet the right girl.

She’ll respect you and never try to push you away.

She’ll encourage you to be in my life daily.

She’ll want you in my life.

She’ll see that you mean the world to me.

She’ll see that you’re the best part of my life.

 

If she can’t see how much you mean to me, then I can’t see how much she means to me.

If she can’t accept you, then I can’t accept her.

If she can’t see your beauty, then I can’t see her beauty.

If she can’t believe in you, then I can’t believe in her.

If she can’t love you, then I can’t love her.

 

Again, I’m sorry that my love for you has been conditional.

From now on, I want to give you the love that you deserve.

A love that I have for my friends.

A love that I have for my brothers and sisters.

A love that I have for my parents.

A love that I have for myself.

A love that I have for God.

A love that is unconditional.

 

I promise to be better to you.

I promise to hold on to you till we have to say goodbye to each other one day.

It’ll be a happy and scary day, but it must happen.

I’ll miss you, but I’ll never forget about you.

You’ve taught me the value and importance of patience.

You’ve taught me the strength and significance of faith.

You’ve taught me the true meaning of love.

You’ve taught me all these things and more.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Thank you for the purity.

 

This is the end of the poem “Purity.”

Be sure to like, share or comment your thoughts on this poem.

Next week, I will be sharing two short stories. On Tuesday, I will be sharing “You Smell Like Apples.” On Thursday, I will be sharing “My Dark Side.”