A Slow Process

The process of healing from anything is slow.

All it takes is a little faith, patience and trust.

There were times that I didn’t have time to trust the process.

Life was pushing me to hurry up a slow process.

Sometimes I would just forget about the whole process altogether.

Healing took too much time.

I couldn’t afford to give healing all my time.

Life had all my time.

The problems of life were always on my mind.

The pursuit of healing and happiness seemed like an impossible dream.

It seemed like only a few could have it.

Why couldn’t I be a part of the few?

Why was I a part of the masses that couldn’t heal or find happiness?

I wondered.

Every little thing in life just distracted me.

All the pain and hurt I kept inside held me hostage.

I could never be free.

I was always a slave to the past.

I thought freedom was an impossibility.

I’m free from bandage now.

Yet the wounds are still fresh and visible to me.

I hope they can disappear soon.

Or maybe they’ll just end up being a scar I barely notice.

It’s important to remember healing requires faith, patience and trust.

Healing is a slow process.

A Silly, Old Picture

I found a silly, old picture of myself.

It was taken years ago.

I looked so young.

I seemed so happy in this picture.

I also looked so silly.

Why did I close my eyes in this picture?

Actually, I did that a lot in pictures when I was younger.

It’s a shame.

I really do have some nice, light brown eyes.

I really had a lot of hair.

I can’t imagine myself with a lot of hair today.

Why did my parents decide to cut it?

I guess it would’ve been a lot to take care of it.

They had their own problems to deal with at that time.

They had some serious problems that they could never solve.

My hair was one less problem for them.

I really had a big smile in this picture.

I didn’t care that my teeth were all over the place.

It didn’t matter to me.

I just wanted to smile.

Why was it so easy to smile?

Now, it’s a little hard with my crooked smile.

I try to hide it at times because it doesn’t look right to me.

I got braces now to help with that problem.

Hopefully, I can have the perfect smile soon.

Life seemed so easy.

Life seemed so simple.

Life seemed like something else in this silly, old picture.

Happy Days

Lately it’s been easier to smile.

It feels like I haven’t had a sad thought in ages.

I’m proud of myself.

I’m proud of who I’m becoming and who I will be.

I can see myself clearly in the mirror.

There’s a certain level of excitement that I have for myself.

It’s a new feeling that I never thought I could have.

I really am heading in the right direction.

There’s no misdirection in sight.

Everything for me is visible and seen.

I feel visible and seen.

I remember carrying so much hurt.

I remember handling unnecessary shame.

I remember fighting demons.

I remember being lost and afraid.

I remember those days all too well.

Those days remain in the past.

Yet they haunt me every now and then in the present.

I hope I don’t have those days again in the future.

For now, I want to enjoy these days I’m having now.

They’re precious and priceless to me.

They mean everything to me.

I want them to last forever.

I’m thankful for these days.

These happy days.